Colorful (H.S) | ✔️

60

Unedited! Feel free to point out grammar mistakes :)

It's been days since the Drew incident and I haven't seen him since. He's even rearranged his schedule so the few shifts we did work together, we don't anymore.

I've tried calling him. Several times. I even went to his house, but no one answered. 

Luckily, he hasn't let our bad blood come between him and Audrey. They've been on one date since then, and I waited for him to walk her up. 

When she came up alone, my world came crashing down. I cried, full-on sobbed in the hallway.

You may be thinking I'm being dramatic but the guilt I'm feeling is actually soul-crushing. When I first met up with Harry, I didn't think it was going to last. So, I kept Drew on the side and led him on. That in itself made me feel horrible. 

But there's also the fact that I didn't even feel guilty until Drew pointed it out. In my mind, I was drunk and Harry was my soulmate. There was no better time to get it out of the way. I'd been so wrapped up in my bubble with Harry to even realize what a shitty person I've been. 

And now everything's crashing down. I hadn't even realized how much of an impact Drew had on my life until I lost him. He was surprisingly one of my closest friends - not that I had many. All my memories with Drew were good ones and I can't stand the idea of never making new memories with him. All of this because of a stupid mistake I made. 

I've ruined my relationship with one of my best friends. The worst thing is, it's in the past. There's no possible way I can fix it now.

I wish I could just explain why I did what I did. Maybe, just maybe, he'd think my actions are justified.

Now I'm sitting in my room, isolating myself. I've texted Harry and told him I won't be in the mood to talk for a couple days. He seemed concerned, but didn't press.

I'm glad. I just need to sulk alone.

Even Audrey's concerned for both of us. She's confronted me multiple times, but I'm too ashamed to tell her.

"Listen babe, I know we all have our secrets, but you need to spill. You're here, crying in your room alone. Drew's always crabby and in a mood, so something's happened between you both. Can you please tell me? Don't I have a right to know, as your best friend and his girlfriend?" She sits at the edge of my bed.

I ignore her 'girlfriend' comment. I know they're not at that level, but I also know what she means. What else can she call him? 'Dude that I'm soulmates with, but we haven't established our relationship yet?'

"I see your concern. Just know that it's something from the past that's come up and I'm ashamed of it, okay?" I mumble under the blankets. She sighs but makes no move to leave. I sit up, no doubt looking like a zombie. "I'm thinking of going to my mom's place for a little."

Her face softens, but she doesn't object. She gives me a sad smile and nods in agreement. "Okay."

I hide under the covers until she leaves. Tears prickle my eyes and I let them fall. No one's watching anyway.

Soon, my pillow is damp. I turn it over to the dry side, laughing at the symbolism. Why do I always take the easy way out? I could just change pillows, but I simply flip it over. It's the same with Drew. Instead of dealing with my issues with Harry, I lead him on, making him think I like him, even though I was off with another man.

I'm disgusting.

That, my friends, is where my good buddy alcohol comes in. 

I sneak into the kitchen and grab a bottle. I shamelessly chug until it's half empty. The bottle makes a noise as I slam it on the counter, followed by Audrey's door opening.