The Three Kings

Chapter 7

"I would love to know why
Just the mere thought of you
Keeps me absolutely restless
At the oddest hours of the day,
But what I would love even more
Is to know if I have ever
Had the same effect on you."

——————
Hanna
——————

The entire night I was filled with perturbation. I could feel the Kings eyes constantly on me and it made me nervous. Knowing that they were here, watching me, made me uneasy and yet kinda excited. I scared that because of their intense staring I was going to somehow trip and fall on my ass, but that never happened. Because even though they made butterflies erupt in my stomach, I felt grounded and secure. Plus, with the constant inhalation of their scents when I walked passed one of them, made my nerves calm and my mind ease.

As the night dragged on and I had finally finished serving desert, I heard the clock on the wall bang twelve times. Midnight. Suddenly realizing that, a wave of exhaustion seem to come over me. My muscles hurt, my eyes burned, I was absolutely and utterly drained.

Dragging my feet on the ground, I made my way back to the kitchen. Sam had at some point fallen fast asleep sitting at the counter. I couldn't blame him either. I wanted nothing more than to get a couple hours of shut eye. But, I knew I wouldn't be able to until everyone had left.

I walked over to Sam and shook him a little to try and walk him up. He didn't stir, so I shook him a little harder. He finally mumbled something about "leaving him alone" so I knew that I had disrupted his slumber.

"Sam," I whispered loudly. "you need to get up. You can't fall asleep here."

"Why not?" He complained.

"Because we're at a restaurant and I am not going to carry your fat-ass home," I grumbled, smacking him on the arm when he started to go back to sleep. "Look, Sam, I'll make a deal with you. If you get up now you can go and crash in my room."

"You mean I get to sleep on your giant bed? With all your blankets?" He asked, suddenly all the exhaustion gone.

"Yeah, I let you sleep in my bed." I sighed.

"Sweet!" He said then stood. "I'll see you most likely when you get home then." He started to leave through the backdoor when I called out to him. "What?"

"Keys?" I said, holding them out.

"Right," he grinned cheekily and took them from me. "I'll see you soon."

I was left alone in the silence. The silence that seemed to suffocate me. I sat down on the chair that Sam previously occupied and put my face in my hands. The urge to cry and scream bubbled up from out of nowhere. I wanted to go home. I wanted to fall asleep. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. I couldn't do this anymore.

I had worked myself to the breaking point. I was done. Fucking done. Except I wasn't. I had to get up tomorrow and do this all over again. The only relief I would get was when everyone fucking left. But, when everyone left, that meant the Kings would also be leaving. I didn't want them to leave.

My hands made their way into my hair and I pulled, enjoying the pang of pain that came from it. Tears prickled the back of my eyes. I was trying so damn hard to not cry.

I could feel it deep in my bones that my crash was coming. I've been awake for too long. My emotions were going haywire. I couldn't control them like I usually could. I've had multiple conversations with my therapist about my insomnia and what happens when I stay awake for too long, and when I do my crash comes and then after my crash typically comes the depression.