The Three Kings

Chapter 21

"I think it's time I let you go.
And that's so hard to do
Because a part of me will be
In love with you for the rest of my life.
But the daydreaming, the running in place,
It's not healthy.
I can't do that anymore."

____________
Hanna
____________

Samson and I were sitting at the counter eating lunch when King Sebastian came in.

"Hanna," he said, standing in the doorway, "may I speak to you for a moment?"

I sent a glance at Samson, silently asking 'what is going on?' but he was staring at his phone, completely obliviously. I turned back to King Sebastian and nodded at him. I left my lunch and followed him to the study.

He held the door open and let me enter before him.

I stood in the study, glancing around, trying not to let my nervousness show. I had no idea what he could want to speak about and he wanted to do it alone.

There was a lingering awkwardness between us--or maybe it was just me that felt awkward whenever I was alone around him. With Samson around, I could ignore it. So, I tried to avoid being alone with it at all costs. The last time we were alone for a significant time, he had laid in my bed with me. He saw me cry and panic. He saw me at my weakest, and most desperate state, begging for help. I couldn't look him in the eye. The embarrassment of what went down that day had finally sunk it. Now, whenever I was around him, that embarrassment flooded me.

I was thankful for what he did that day. He calmed me down. He made me feel better. But that didn't stop me from feeling awkward and embarrassed about it. And I couldn't even fathom what he thought about me now, seeing me in that state. That day was a disaster. He didn't sign up for this. He deserved someone worthy of being his mate and being the Luna. I wasn't capable of any of it.

Not to mention the conversation I had with Samson a couple of days ago.

That just proved that I wasn't able to do any of this. I had forgotten I was supposed to be a Luna--a Queen. I didn't know the first thing about ruling. And this war? What the fuck was I supposed to do about that? Was I supposed to fight? Control an army? I was just a cook. All I ever wanted to be was a chef. I couldn't fight. I knew the basics because Alpha John had wanted me to learn how to protect myself. But I had no idea how to control an army. I am way out of my depth here.

I sighed, fighting the urge to flee from the room.

"Hanna, you can sit down, if you'd like."

My gaze turned to him. He was sitting behind his desk staring at me. There was no emotion on his face.

"Shit. Sorry." I mumbled and took a seat in the chair in front of his desk. I looked down at my lap, using my hair to cover the redness that colored my face.

"There is no need to apologize. If anything, I should be the one to apologize." He began, leaving me confused. I peeked up at him through my hair. "I realize we haven't had a moment to talk alone since I have arrived. I apologize if it seems like I was ignoring you. That was no my intention. I have been very...busy to say the least."

My head flung up as I stammered out a response. "T-th-that's totally f-fine. Y-uo don't need to apologize! I get it!" Goddess, I didn't want him to feel bad for being busy. "I k-kinda...um... I-I actually appreciated the space? Not because I didn't want to talk to you or anything like that!" I rushed out, fearing I was going to insult him. "I needed sometime time to gather myself and adjust to the medication. So...no worries..."

I was a mess. This is a mess. Goddess, I wanted nothing more than to leave this room and curl up and die somewhere that was anywhere but here.