The Three Kings

Chapter 11

"Sometimes all you have to do is go for it.
Take a breath and jump.
Because here's the thing, you can spend forever standing at the foot of a diving board, and you will always find a reason not to go it.
It's too high; it might hurt; you might swallow water.
And all those things are true, but you know what else is true?
You'll waste a perfectly good life standing on the edge when really the most beautiful thing you could do is go for it. Take the jump"

_ _ _ _ _ _
Hanna
_ _ _ _ _ _

I had a decision to make.

Two options that weighed heavily on my mind.

As Julia and Sam slept peacefully through the night, I was dealing with an enigma that would change my life forever.

Go or stay?

It was early Friday morning and I had less than a day to decide whether I wanted to try and make a relationship work or just stay here and live my life the way I had originally planned out.

Uprooting my entire life or staying where I know its safe?

Why was this so hard to decide?

Everything that Dr. Sweets and I discussed swam about in my brain. I kept replaying that conversation to try and help me decide, but it was still so hard.

On one hand, I had Julia, Sam, Alpha John, Luna Caroline, and Jordan. An entire family that loved and protected me and wanted what's best for me. If I left, it would hurt everyone I love. Alpha John and Luna Caroline will have lost a daughter, Jordan a sister, Julia and Sam a best friend.

If I were to leave, I'd have to drop out of college. College that Alpha John and Luna Caroline paid for. How would I ever pay them back? And I'd have to give up my dreams of opening and owning a restaurant to becoming a Queen. I'm not Queen material! I can't walk around in big poofy dresses, and high heels, and go to dances and balls, and put on a fake smile and pretend to like everyone and everything.

Leaving here--my home--would cause a crisis within myself and everything that I know. My whole plan would be ruined and I'd have to start over. I'd have to begin a whole new life. A new life that I wasn't even sure I wanted.

But on the other hand, the thought of staying here and leaving them physically hurt. It brought heartache and stomach pain. My soul refused to even think about staying here and leaving them.

This may be something I want to pursue. Maybe I did want to be with them--I mean of course I do, but everything seems just so complicated.

I needed more time than just a week to decide whether this is something I wanted to do.

I knew nothing about them. I only knew two basic things about them, and those two basic things were something that everyone knew. They are Kings and their names are Xavier and Alexander. So I'm not exactly special.

I just didn't know how I was supposed to make a life-changing decision about two men that I didn't know. It wasn't fair. They weren't exactly giving me the best options.

Two options. Both completely life-changing. One could ruin my life and the other could give me all I've ever wanted.

So what was I supposed to do? What was I supposed to choose? Who was I supposed to choose?

____________

"Hanna have you been up all night?" Julia came to stand in front of me.

"Huh?" I turned my head to her, not really hearing what she said.