The Three Kings

Chapter 17

"People do not die
Of the present, but
Of the past:
Memory is the greatest
Killer in all the world"

____________
Hanna
____________

"Hanna."

Go away.

"Hanna."

Leave me alone.

"Hanna."

Stop.

"Hanna."

Stop it.

"Hanna."

"Stop it! Stop! Stop! Stop!"

"Hanna."

"No! Leave me alone! Go away!"

"Hanna."

"Go away! Go away! Go! AWAY!"

"Hanna."

"Go away go away go away go away go away...."

A constant and endless cycle.

Never leaving.

Never quiet.

Voices.

Talking.

Yelling.

Screaming.

Whispering.

They wouldn't shut up. They wouldn't stop talking. It was him. And then it wasn't him. He was there, and yet he wasn't here. He was everywhere and nowhere.

And it wasn't just his voice.

Sometimes he'd appear out of thin air. Sometimes his scent would flow into my airways and choke me. Sometimes, I'd feel his hands graze my skin or his finger wrap around my throat.

Reality, as I knew it, was slowly collapsing around me.

Visions, memories, feelings...

Hours, upon hours I'd move through the house, alone and tired. Tears would drip from my eyes and fall to the floor. And nothing would make sense anymore.

One minute I would be walking down the stairs, then the next he would be throwing me down them. And then I'd snap out of it. I would be sitting on one of the steps crying in fear of what my brain was doing to me.

"Hanna."

"No."

"Hanna."

"Leave me alone."

"Hanna."

My hands gripped my hair and pulled as I screamed. I screamed and screamed until my voice was raw. I screamed until my ears began to ring. I screamed until the voices disappeared.

It wouldn't leave me alone.

It wouldn't go away.

It wouldn't stop.

My legs stopped supporting me. I crumpled to the floor. My body shook with sobs. And when the tears no longer came, I laid down on the wooden floor and hummed to try and drown out the voices.

And then he was back. Black boots stood in front of my eyes, and then he kneeled down, hands wrapped around my hair and tugged and tugged and tugged till strands were being pulled out and I was screaming. And then a hand came across my face, shutting me up...and then there was nothing. And nothing had happened. And I was on the floor in the foyer crying again. He wasn't here. He was never here.