My Dream Boyfriend... Not In My Fathers Eyes....

12. My Dream Boyfriend...

Chapter 12

        It had been a month since the little incident in the tree house.  I tried not to think about the fact that my brother and     my boyfriend had killed a man that night.  I try not to think about the fact that that wasn't their first time killing.  It reaally     bugged me.  I mean, yeah, i had guessed that my brother had killed people before.  But that was just a guess.  Gage actually     telling me that that wasn't the first time, made me scared to death.  Not of him, because I know that he would not ever kill     me.  But because, well, really, I had no clue.  Maybe because it made me really think about thye world, and how people kill     innocent people everyday.  Or maybe because, before then, I really had no clue that somebody in my family would murder     someone.  Or maybe, even because my brother was my idol, my hero.  And I wanted to be like him in almost every way.  But if     I were to be like him, would I have to kill?  The thought scared me.  

        I cried myself to sleep that night.  I kept imagining Ray and Gage shooting random people, for no reason.  Blood and     brains, and little pieces of skull were covering me, the ground, them.  Then, Ray and Gage turned towards me and shot me,     after saying, "I knew you would tell."  I kept screaming, and Harold, my father, had to come in and tell me to shut the f*ck up     so that he could sleep.  And that if I wanted to keep screaming, then I could go to the niggers house and wake them up.

        Now, a month later, I still had those nightmares.  I didn't think of Ray or Gage any differently.  But I had no clue what     the dream meant, if it meant anything at all.  

        I was sitting on Rays lap.  We were alone, for it was three in the morning.  I had just woken up from the terrible     dream.  

        "Deir, please tell me what happened in your dream.  You've been having the same one every night that you're here,     and probably when you're at your house too.  Whats happening in that nightmare that makes your scream your head off when     you have it?  Please tell me baby."

        "I- I can't.  You'll hate me for thinking it."  I started sobbing into his shoulder.

        "Deir!  I could never hate you, for anything.  Please tell me..."  

        So, I did.  "You and Gage are just... killing everybody you see.  You murder more than 50 people.  And you make me     watch.  Blood is covering me.  There's brains, and little pieces of skull on me, too.  Then, I look at the victom you just killing.      I realize that it's me, an older me.  Holding a baby.  Then, you and Gage turn to me, the real me, and say, 'I knew you would     tell.'  And you guys pull the trigger and shoot me."  I looked up at his face and see him frowning.  "I knew you would hate me     for thinking it!  I knew it!"  I get off of him and cry onto my pillow.

        Ray takes the pillow from me and hugs me.  "Don't cry Deirdra.  Please don't cry.  I don't hate you for thinking that,     and I never will.  I love you.  You can't help that you dream that.  And I know that you are freaked out that we killed Frank.      And also you're freaked out about how we've killed people before him.  But what IU don't understand, is why you havn' gone     to the cops yet."

        "You really think I would do that?  Because I wouldn't.  Ever.  You are my boyfriend, and he is my brother.  I would     rather die than snitch on you two."

        And with that, Ray kissed me.

        He lie down on the bed with me, kissing me.  

        "Deir, if you don't want to go farther than this, then lets stop."  Ray told me, grabbing me.

        "Ray...  I want to go farther."

        "I don't have protection."

        "I've been taking birth control for a while."

        And then he smiled, and kissed me lightly on the lips.

        I streched my arms and opened my eyes.  Ray was staring at me, smiling at me.  "Why are you staring at me while I'm     sleeping, you weirdo?"

        He ignored my question and kissed my nose.  "I love you, Deir."

        "I love you too."  I hugged him.  Then I realized that I was still naked.  "Eeek!"  I covered myself up with the blanket.      "Get out so that I can put on some clothes."     

        "Deir.  I saw you nake last night.  It doesn't matter.  Plus, I can't get out.  I'm naked too."

        "Yes, it does matter.  I'm very self concience.  So...  Turn around."  He groaned, but did what he was told.  I got     dressed as quickly as I could.  Then he got dressed.  We went into the kitchen, and as soon as we did, Gage and Petunia     embarrased us to death.

        "Have a great time last night?"  Gage asked me.  I frowned at him.

        "Sure?"  He couldn't know about what happened, right?

        "You were sure loud, Deir."  Petunia said to me, grinning.

        "Oh my gosh!!  You guys know?"  I burried my head in my hands.  "That is SO embarrasing!"  Ray laughed.

        Soon, they were all laughiong.  But me.  I thought I was going to explode from embarrasment.       __________________

short as hell, i know.  and im sorry.  but the next chapters are going to better.  today, i planed out exactly what was going to happen. 

If someone comments and guesses AT LEAST one thing that is going to happen in this story, the next chapter is going to be dedicated to you!  join my facebook page, please!  i only have 2 fans!  and on is my sister! and then me... lol. but yeah., link in the external link thing.  Love you all :D

and i WILL upload soon, I promise.