orphan ,the » boyxboy

. t w e l v e .

-ASH-

Shit. One word, that can explain my feelings so damn well. I'm in such a plight condition right now, that the last thing I need, is people's empathy.

I don't think I have realized that, yet. I don't want to think about it, either. I end up with tears in my eyes, every damn time. I can't believe that I will never get to meet them, or ask them why they left me. But, that doesn't really matter anymore. All that matters is, that I can't see them. But, I hope they can see me. 

I wipe quickly my last tear, with my finger before I go out of my apartment.

::

"Ashton, we need to talk." Mr Roger says silently while I'm reading a random book I found, just to distract myself.

"Oh, okay." I reply and put the book on the table. I hope he'll give me more work to do. I need to keep myself distracted all the time. 

I'm heading to his desk, where he's sitting with one leg to the other, with his head resting in his hands.

"What do you want me to do?" I ask him.

"Sit down Ashton. I don't want you to do anything for now." he replies, and I follow his instructions by sitting on a chair.

"Your friend came here yesterday. What was his name?" he says and sighs.

I feel my heart beating faster. "Mike was here?" I ask with widen eyes.

Mr Roger nods. "He was looking for you. He said that he was trying to contact with you, but you kept ignoring him."

"I did not ignore him." I interrupt him quickly. "I just didn't know what to do."

"He also said that as your father I could talk to you." he continues and gives me a frowned look.

"And what did you tell him?" I ask while I can already feel cold sweat dropping on my forehead. I should have talked to Michael earlier.

"I told him the truth, Ashton." he says and looks in my eyes.

"What truth?" I ask trying to keep calm, even though my cheeks are heating up.

"That I'm not your father. I know, I shouldn't .. "

"Why did you do this?" I ask loudly and stand up. Mr Roger gives me a concerned look and stands up, too.

"I'm sorry Ashton." he says and tries to tap my shoulder but I pull over.

"No. You knew how hard this was for me." I say. I can feel my face burning from anger but fear, too. How much does Michael know?

"Does he know about my parents?" I ask.

Mr Roger shakes his head. "No. I think you should be the one, to tell him all about you."

I run my hand through my hair, feeling like I want to rip all of it off.

"How am I going to do this? He must be so mad at me right now." I say.

"Take it easy. I'm sure he's not."

"Don't tell me to take it easy, because I can't. You shouldn't say anything." I shout in an uncontrollable voice. A tear drops on my cheek.

"I'm sorry Ashton. I really am." he says trying to comfort me.

"I want to leave. Excuse me, I can't stay here anymore." I say and turn my back at him. As soon as I step outside the library, I slam the door behind me.

I make quick and heavy steps and take my cellphone out of my pocket and search for Mike's number. But, what would I tell him?

I press call anyway, and wait for him to answer. But he doesn't. I try again and wait.