orphan ,the » boyxboy

. s i x t e e n .

you probably need to read the end of the previous chapter just to remember where we had stayed. 

//

-ASH-

He keeps staying silent, like he doesn't want to talk to me anymore; like he doesn't want to speak at all. But no. I'm going to make him talk.

"Mike," I start. "Tell me whatever that bothers you."

He rubs his nose, while he's clearing his throat. "We," he stops to inhale. "Us," he says, but he doesn't seem like knows what he wants to say.

"What we have is really fucked up, okay?" he says, looking at me and I nod.

"I mean, everytime I think that we're okay, something messes it up." he adds.

"I know," I reply. "But, that's what makes it us. I think." I add.

"Yeah sure. But --" he seems unsure.

"What Mike?" I ask him curiously.

"I just wish I could knew what's in your mind. What do you think of me." he says.

"Why would you even want that?" I say as I unwrap my arm from his shoulder, and rest it on my knee; we're still sitting on the floor.

"There's nothing special in my head." I say blankly.

"So, I'm not special, am I?" he whispers, but I still can hear him.

"No. I didn't mean it like that." I respond quickly. "Sorry," I say and he raises his shoulders.

"It's just, --" I take a breath and continue. Mike has now wrapped his arm around me softly.

"All of my life, I was dreaming of the perfect family. How they would come, and take me from that orphanage and make me theirs. But they never came, you know." I say. I bite my bottom lip just to prevent it from trembling. But, I've already started shaking.

"As soon as I got out of there, all I wanted was to find them. My real parents. I wanted to find out why they left me. Even though, I had hope that they still loved me. But, now it's all gone. When I saw their stupid graves, I absolutely lost any hope for everything. And I've never felt so fucking alone." 

"And when I first met you, I absolutely hated myself," I chuckle at myself from the memory. Mike stays silent, as he keeps listening to me patiently.

"I hated myself for doing what I did. But, you treated me so good. I seriously have put our ups and downs to the past." I assure him and he nods with a small smile.

"Even when you, --" I stop, but he gets what I mean and he looks away uncomfortably.

"But, it's okay. What I'm trying to say is, " I say and touch his shoulder to make him look at me. "When I'm with you, I forget about my loneliness Mike."

Mike gives me a genuine smile and puts his head on my shoulder. Even though, that should have made me feel awkward, it doesn't.

"You have me Ashton, always remember that." he says and raises his head to look at me. His eyes just a few centimetres away from mine.

"I know," I whisper. I put my hand on his cheek and leave it there. I can feel the heat on Mike's cheeks but I don't care. 

"I'm so glad that you noticed me that day, even though you shouted at me." he says, causing me to laugh.

Mike starts leaning closer to me, but I don't move. His mouth is slightly open, and I gulp. As we keep staring at each other in silence, Mike fills the small space that we had between us, by touching my lips with his.