-ASH-
"Take this mobile phone with you. My number is already in it, so you can contact with me everytime you are in need." Ms Daria says.
She's been my nanny, or what I can call her, for as long as I can remember myself. She's the one who would feed me, bath me and she was there at my first steps. She even taught me how to ride the bicycle. I can recall that when I was about eight or nine, I used to call her mum. I don't know how it came from. She was always so close to me, and even though I don't know what it feels like having a mother, Ms Daria treated me like her son.
Well, of course she was there for the other kids too, but for some reason she was closer with me. Maybe because I would always be seen alone. Everytime I thought that I had made a friend, it would never last for long. At the end of the month or sometimes the week, they would leave with their 'parents'. But I wasn't angry about that. I was just jealous. I envy the feeling of having a home. A family that loves and cares about you. By the time I turned fifteen, I knew it was over. I was the oldest kid -- and still am.
People only like to adopt new-born babies, or kids aged between six-eight. They would never want a teenage boy. And the worst thing was that there wasn't any other kid near my age. So, I spent the next years alone with Ms Daria, my only company. She would always comfort me and tell me that my time would come, but I knew it would never come.
I turned twenty a while ago, and my decision has been made. There's no point in living in this orphanage anymore. I have to go outside and see the world. I want to experience new things. I need to live my life the way I want to. And I won't achieve that if I stay here one more minute.
"Thank you so much. For everything you did for me all these years." I say and hug Ms Daria as I take the phone from her hands.
"Oh, look how much you've grown. I'm so proud of you for making this decision." she quickly wipes her tears away and gives me a piece of paper. There's an address written on it.
"Here's where you'll stay. It's close to my house, so feel welcome whenever you want something." she says with a wide smile, making the wrinkles next to her eyes visible. Even though she's around fifty five, she's blowing a dose of natural beauty.
I don't know how to respond. She's done way too much already. "I can't thank you more." I finally say as I hug her for the last time and walk outside. I don't think I can remember myself walking alone outside the orphanage's gates before.
::
-MIKE-
"Turn off that noise, for fucking sake!" my mum yells, but I turn the music louder on purpose. I hate hearing her screams. I prefer the sound of punk rock music.
As I'm singing Sex Pistols' Pretty Vacant on the top of my lungs, I hear the front door opening. It's my dad, probably drunk as always. I can hear some screams and arguments but I'm trying to ignore that.
I have to get out of here as soon as possible.
"Mike, how can you live like this?"
"Are you on drugs?"
"Well, of course he is. Look at him. His clothes, his hair."
These would be the most often things, people would say about me in front of me, and probably behind my back. And I'm sick of it. I want to escape. I want to go out and live my life the way I want to.
But how much easier would it be if my parents were rich? I can't even go to a college or a University. Who am I kidding? I'm an under-the-average student. But even though I was lucky enough to graduate, I'm still stuck in here. As all my other classmates have already planned their future and know what they want to do, I'm ignorant.
::
As long as my life is passing, I decided to leave the house. I mean, I'm almost nineteen years old. I can't even live with my parents anyway. I guess it won't be that difficult for me, living on my own -- as long as my parents were never on my side.
I don't even care if I have to live on the streets. But the fact that I have to work for this society like a robot, just wears me out. How much of a perfection would it be if I could be a rock star and never have to worry about my future? But that is actually one of my deepest dreams.
As I am thinking all these, I pack all of my clothes and stuff that I need in a suitcase. It's 9 am, my parents are still sleeping. Of course. I don't even want to talk to them or see their reactions when I tell them that I'll leave them. But, damn. They're still my parents.
I write all they need to know on a piece of paper and leave it on the refrigerator. Then, I take my suitcase along with my guitar and open the front door.
As I am finally walking away, I stop to look back and see my house for the last time. I take a deep breath and walk as furthest as possible, while the cold air is flowing through my hair.
//
Hope you like it. I'm going to update once a week so I can have time to write the next chapters.
