-ASH-
You have a new notification.
I check my cellphone to see, that Mike just sent me a text.
From !mike! : 'r u busy tonight?'
Okay; that's really hard to answer. Hey I can't see you today, cause I gotta find my real parents. Oh! And those people, I introduced you to as my parents? Guess what. They're not.
Nope. Not a good reply. Ugh.
To !mike! : 'sorry, got a lot of work today at the library'
I know, what a lame excuse; but I have to go with it. I really have to find the right time to tell him, but it really must be the hardest thing I have to do. Why did I even have to lie? It feels like a pain in the ass to me now.
I can imagine him telling me, he no longer wants to be a friend with me because I did not trust him. And I wouldn't disagree with him. He'd be all right, if he'll refuse to talk to me from now on.
But, I won't be. I won't be alright. I'll be alone again; knowing that I push everyone away, and I can't handle that.
However, I gotta tell him sooner or later. No matter what happens after that.
::
"So, where are we going again?" Ms Daria says, as I sit on the passenger seat of her car.
She offered to drive me there, as long as it's a pretty long trip from what they said.
"Well, there it is." I say and hand her the piece of paper with the name of the street. She stares at it for a while, and then starts the car.
I rest my head at the back of my seat, and turn my head out of the window and stare at the moving pictures.
Two months ago, I wouldn't even imagine myself like that. I was just a kid, sitting on my room all day, and almost never wanted to associate with anyone. Sure, I liked to take care of the smaller kids but you get my point. I let all of my emotions inside me, and sometimes I would just cry silently under my pillow. But, I never felt better. I always had at the back of my head, the thought about going out. I thought I would be a free and more confident human being. But I still lack in all of them.
And now here I am; outside, driving to the east side of Sydney. Who knew that I would finally have the chance to see my parents? My own family?
"You're pretty quiet." Ms Daria decides to break the silence.
I turn to face her. Her eyes, still on the road.
"Well, I was thinking." I say. "I'm really nervous, actually." I mumble.
"Everything's going to be alright, darling." she says in a sweet voice.
"I hope so. I really do." I say and shake my head, just to get all of my negative thinking out of my mind.
"No matter what happens, we'll still be here for you." she says and rubs my shoulder a little.
I crack a small smile at that. Of course, this woman was always there for me and I'm so grateful for that.
"Do you think they'll like me?" I ask out of nowhere.
"Why do you ask that? Of course they'll like you. They'll love you." she replies.
"Yes. But not only because I'm their son. Do you think they'll like me as a person?" I ask, feeling a sudden insecurity.
She turns her head to me for while, until she heads back to the road and frowns.
