-ASH-
"Will you come out, Ashton?" I hear Mr Roger's faint voice, coming from the outside of the door.
"You don't have to be closed to yourself anymore." he sighs. I've been hearing those words over and over again. I'm tired of this.
I've been in their bathroom for at least half an hour. Both Ms Daria and Mr Roger are really concerned about me, so they persuaded me in having dinner with them, at least every Sunday; so they can keep an eye on me.
My anger attacks have been more and more every day that passes, something I cannot control anymore. Most times, I get angry over the least important reasons.
And the thing is, even though I have dinner with the only two people that can make me feel better, it still doesn't help.
I don't even know what to do with myself.
"We'll be waiting for you." Mr Roger says, and then I hear his footsteps fading away, as he probably goes to the dining room with Ms Daria.
I hate worrying them; I feel like they feel sorry for me, and that's not what I want - not at all.
I take a big breath, and look myself in the mirror. I ignore the bags under my eyes and just shrug it off. I finally open the bathroom door and make small and quiet steps.
Ms Daria immediately pays attention to me, "Oh finally Ash. Are you feeling any better?" she asks but I just raise my shoulders.
"I don't really have any appetite. I'm sorry." I say as I see her putting some food on a clean plate.
However, I sit down on a chair, next to Mr Roger. I can feel his eyes turning to me, making me nervous as always.
"You know you can trust us, right?" Ms Daria says with her genuine smile.
"Last time I trusted someone, made me think that I can never do that again." I mumble.
"Ashton. What are you talking about? We know you almost forever. How can you say that?" Mr Roger snaps.
"You're right." I reply, feeling guilty for what I just said. "It's just, I --" I stop, biting my bottom lip, as I feel it trembling, and seriously I have to stop being so damn sentimental.
Ms Daria reaches her hand and takes mine. "It's okay to let your feelings out, dear. Don't push them inside you." she says and I make a small nod.
"I just feel like, I- I've made a huge mistake." I finally admit.
"What kind of mistake?" Mr Roger wonders.
I scratch my neck while looking at my thighs. "I wanted Mike out of my life. I felt like I could never trust anyone again." I stop to inhale for some air.
"But, he's been my only friend." I suddenly feel strange admitting that. I never even wanted to think about it on my own. That I still wanted his friendship.
"I don't know what I'm doing." I say before letting a loud hiccup coming from my mouth. I rest my head on my hands, while Mr Roger pats my back.
There's an awkward silence between us, for what seems like minutes. But it's only probably ten seconds.
"Have you thought about it well?" he asks me.
"Thought about what?" I question.
"Him. You. I mean, even after this fight, do you still miss him?" he says looking deep in my eyes, making me shiver.
I don't want to feel like that.
"I don't want to miss him." I reply sharply.
"But, do you?" he asks again, waiting for an answer. I simply raise my shoulders a little bit, but I don't know if he takes it as a yes or I don't know.
