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-ASH-
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"Ashton, could you help me with these, for a moment?" Mr Roger says. He's Ms Daria's husband.
I really hate myself these days, because I have achieved nothing. Finding a job wasn't an easy thing for me, so Mr Roger offered me to work with him. I'm not sure if his wife made him do this, but I feel like they both feel sorry for me.
"I'm coming right now." I say and go to see what he wants.
"Here, take these and put them on an empty shelf." he says, and hands me more books. He owns the Local Library, which I find fascinating. He's a man that I always found intelligent, logical and serious. I would always look up to him.
I go to the right bookcase and fill the empty shelf with the new books, that were delivered yesterday. Each book goes to a specific -- and by alphabetical order -- place.
My job is quite simple at this point. But, I find it hard to keep my cool when it comes to be of help to people. I find it hard to speak with the right words without messing up. And it gets worse when it comes to talk to people my age. But, that doesn't happen too often. I've seen that the 'normal' twenty-year-olds prefer doing other things, rather than wasting their time at something like reading.
I don't see where's the waste of time. I enjoy myself at reading. It's probably the only thing that keeps me peaceful -- and music of course.
I was raised up by some all-time classics, like William Shakespeare and stuff like that, but I always loved the horror classics, like Dracula, Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde and of course, Frankenstein. When the library goes silent, I like making myself comfortable at sitting next to a table and reading some of my favourites. I like losing myself in deep thoughts by reading, even though it makes Mr Roger mad because I forget about work.
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"Hello? Did you hear me?" someone says to me and distracts me from my reading. I look up to see a teenage boy looking with an attitude at me.
"How could I help you?" I try to sound polite.
"I need anything old or boring. It's for school, so ..." he rolls his eyes and raises his shoulders.
"So ... what? You obviously want something classic. But, I can't just give you random books. Didn't your teacher recommend you anything?" I say, trying to ignore his attitude. It has started irritating me.
"I don't even remember any title. Just give me whatever you got, man. I don't even care." he says.
I can't hold it anymore. "Look, kid. You either tell me which book you want, or just leave!" I almost yell at the last words.
I hear quick steps from behind me. Mr Roger shows up.
"I apologize for the inconvenience and the sudden unconsciousness of my assistant. Let me help you from now on." he gives me that look which tells me to go away, and that's what I do. I see the disappointment in his eyes.
Why do I always let people down? And especially these people.
The people who keep helping me have everything in my life. The people who did everything, so I'll be happy.
I should make them and the orphanage feel proud of me. But instead that, I disappoint them. Once again.
After a few minutes, Mr Roger comes to me with a deadly serious look on his face. He crosses his arms as he stands in front of me.
"What was that again?" he asks.
"I'm so, so sorry. For everything. Sorry that I disappointed you one more time." I say but I'm unable to make eye contact.
"You did not disappoint me Ashton. I'm just worried about you. I don't understand, you're such a nice kid but when it comes to other people, you can't behave."
"I can behave. I was being polite from the beginning. He had that attitude, though." I'm yelling at him now, too?
"Look Ashton," he stops me. "I get that you don't have anyone and that might makes you feel alone or miserable, but you can't just let your anger go at random strangers. They don't even know you." he says and he makes me feel terrible. But he's right.
"Why don't you just take a day-off for today? Go home and relax. It's been a hard week for you." he says and taps my shoulder.
I just nod as long as I don't know what to say. If I open my mouth, maybe I'll lose control.
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I take two books that I borrowed from the library. 'The War of the Worlds' and another book with poems. People would find me a kind and educated person, but not even close.
I just make myself go away with big and quick steps, and go across the street. There's a music store, that got my eye since day one. I give a glance at the giant posters at the window. I don't actually know all these bands, but I would like to attend one of those concerts.
I make my steps further, until I finally reach my home. It is so strange to call it like that. My home.
I immediately let myself fall under the blankets of my bed, and just close my eyes. Will this ever stop? Will my misery ever go away?
::
::
-MIKE-
"Oh, for fucking sake! Will you ever play the right notes?" I shout at Dan, the drummer of our band.
I always remembered myself dreaming of having a band. And that's it. I'm in a band. But it isn't like my dream. We can't even communicate as a band.
And I always wanted to play punk or hardcore music, but I have to go with the others' opinion. Besides, it's not my band. It's not my choice of what kind of music we're playing.
"Michael is right. We have to be perfect. How are we supposed to play in a few days if we're not ready?" Calvin says, the bassist.
"Guys, okay I suck and I'm sorry." Dan says and looks down.
"Then why aren't you practicing?" I ask him.
"I have to go to school, mate. At least you've all finished, but I can't find a lot of free time for myself. The fact that I'm even here right now, is too much." he says.
Then why aren't we kicking him out? I mean he doesn't do too much. He can't even play that good. The rest of us are pretty good for a pop-punk band. I should talk with the guys about kicking Dan out of the band. But where will we find a good drummer, soon?
"Okay guys, let's stop fighting and play the song one more time." Lucas says, he's the singer and the person who convinced me to join the band. He thinks he can give us orders. What a prick.
At least he has a great voice.
//
i hope you liked that. updates every Thursday. voting would be nice,
