Heart Like Yours \\ M. Lucic

Chapter 35

Hi ! It's a hella short chapter :))) but it's emotional and yeah ilyasm xx

I could be doing homework but naaaaahhh

Btw listen to Litost by X Ambassadors for this chapter :)))
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Dakota's POV
Jared pulled into the driveway.

"Dakota, this was so nice. I um...would you like to go out again next Friday?" he asked. I bit my lip.

"Of course. Text me," I said, and I unbuckled my seatbelt. I opened the door when I turned to him. I pecked him on the cheek. "Thank you."

With that, I walked inside. I shut and locked the door as he drove away. A grin was obvious on his face.

"AHHH!" I squealed, covering my face with my hands. I looked like that monkey emoji. Ya know, this one: 🙈.

"AAAAHHH!" I shrieked again. I flopped on the couch. This was...well, this was a lot better than expected. I smiled and sighed. Then I realized how late it was. I had practice in the morning. I got up and went into the bathroom, staring long and hard in the mirror. Then I got done of my makeup-removing wipes and started on my cheeks. I wiped off the concealer with one before grabbing another wipe. I wiped off all my eye makeup in one fell swoop and grabbed three 3g pills of Melatonin to help me sleep. After that I went into my bedroom. I changed into a sweatshirt and a pair of flannels, then going into the kitchen. I grabbed a can of Coke.

"That was stupid," I told myself as I opened it. "I'm trying to sleep, not keep myself up."

Sighing, I popped the three melatonin in my mouth and took a swig of Coke. Because I knew the caffeine would keep me up, I put the can back in the fridge. The house was silent, and I had just barely gotten used to it these past few weeks. I slipped back into my bedroom and flopped on the bed. Before I knew it, I was dragged into a deep sleep.

"Aw, c'mon babe," he smirks. "I don't think you need him. You have me."

"You're a douchebag," I mumble, jerking my body away. He becomes aggressive, grabbing my wrist.

"Excuse me?"

He pressed his body against me. No. No. Not again. Not again.

"I said," he says sloppily into my mouth, "excuse me?"

I try to jerk away but he's too strong. I try to scream. No sound comes out. Tears stream down my face as he rips my dress. It hurts. I'm crying and screaming and I just can't. The door opens and I see half of Milan's face, but the door shuts abruptly. I'm screaming, screaming, screaming.

"YOU DOUCHEBAG!" I sob into his shoulder. He's holding me down. "I hate you."

I woke up screaming. My head was sweaty, my hands were shaking, and everything was pulsing.

"JESUS CHRIST!" I sobbed. My voice was shaking and everything was numb. In a moment of impulse, I picked up my phone and dialed Milan. It rang and rang and rang.

"Hey, it's Milan," his cheery voicemail called, "I can't answer the phone right now, but I'll get back to you later."

It beeped.

"Listen, I know you left, and that was fine. I know you promised you wouldn't seven months ago while I was crying into your neck, but I also know that sometimes it rains even when it's not supposed to and sometimes boys kiss girls they shouldn't. We tear flowers out of the ground just to watch them die and things change, so I understand if you're done. But please, when you're looking at all your old sweaters and books, don't forget to remember your three AM conversations, and look at photographs where we're smiling so wide it looks like we've never known that feeling in the pit of your stomach when someone screams "I don't love you anymore." Remember every kiss, every night you fell asleep next to me, every poem I wrote you, every song you sang to me, every "I love you more fight," every shock I felt in my skin when you brushed against me. I was never scared of ghosts until you left but now I see you everywhere and god if you're going to kill me please just do it quickly because I see you in everything and it's making it hard to breathe." I sobbed. "I can't breathe."

I hung up and immediately regretted it. In all these weeks I hadn't even felt a stir inside me, but now, all of the sudden....I shivered and went into the kitchen. As usual when I had a nightmare, I brewed a cup of lemon tea. Then I went back into my room and put the tea on the bureau. Shakily, I went into my bottom drawer and grabbed Milan's Bruins sweatshirt. It still smelled like his cologne. It finally hit me. I pulled his sweatshirt over my head and collapsed on the bed crying. It finally hit me. I put my head on his pillow and let the tears fall.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled.