Q: Should I have a baby after 35?A: No, 35 children is enough.Q: I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby’s sex?A: Childbirth.Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she’s borderline irrational.A: So what’s your question?Q: My childbirth instructor says it’s not pain I’ll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.Q: When is the best time to get an epidural ?A: Right after you find out you’re pregnant.Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?A: Not unless the word ‘alimony’ means anything to you.Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?A: Yes, pregnancy.Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?A: Not if you change the baby’s diaper very quickly.Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?A: When the kids are in college.
