Light Novie Awards 2019 [CLOSED] | The Light Novel Society

Fantasy Winners!

Judged by: RainingStorms

☆*:.｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆

Hello everyone! The winners of the Fantasy genre have been decided! It was very difficult for me to decide on who to eliminate and who should get which placing, because all of you wrote such wonderful and compelling stories. After much contemplation and comparison, I finally made my decision.

Here are the winners! 

ELIMINATED

Jackitalyy → I Want To Die, Let's Isekai!

Hookline: 7/10
Character Development: 8/10
Grammar/Sentence Structure: 4/10
Plot: 8/10
Small Review: 

I couldn't stop laughing at some scenes. I had to stop reading for some time because it was so comedic. Your sense of humour, added with the dirty jokes and suggestions, made for a hilarious experience with your characters, and I appreciate it because I've never really encountered a book that made me laugh so much. The points I mentioned in my previous reviews still apply to these next few chapters I read, along with a couple of new ones: tense shifts, some misspellings, incorrect usage of certain punctuation (i.e dashes) and italicisation of words/sentences. Keep in mind that you are writing in past tense, so do not lapse to present tense, especially when writing descriptions. If you are unsure about the spellings of some words, do consult a dictionary. When writing using dashes, do try to add two (--) instead of one so that it's more noticeable, else it'll look like a randomly placed hyphen. There were also some sentences that you used a dash in, which was quite jarring since a period would have been much better. Your italicisation is one of the bigger issues, however, since I was left feeling confused in certain scenes due to the sentences/paragraphs you chose to italicise. You have already established that, outside of dialogue, italicisation is used to indicate internal dialogue. However, some sentences/paragraphs that sounded like internal dialogue were not italicised at all, while certain descriptions of surroundings and whatnot were italicised. How did that happen? Do make sure your italicisation is consistent as it can lead to a lot of confusion while reading.

Total: 27/40

・・・

ShinomiyaDR → Masquerading the Key

Hookline: 7/10
Character Development: 9/10
Grammar/Sentence Structure: 5/10
Plot: 7/10
Small Review: 

I really have to admit, the idea of your story is intriguing. There is a lot of mystery surrounding your setting and plot. What I said in my previous reviews still stand, including some missing capitalisation and keeping in mind your plural and singular terms. There is, again, still a certain lack of clarity in your descriptions and details in certain scenes, which makes it quite difficult to visualise what is happening and where the characters are. Even if it is some sort of barren wasteland that they are in, engage your readers by making use of not only vision, but touch, taste, hearing and smell—the scent of dirt and sand, the feel of the sun's rays and sweat, the whistling of the wind, etc. Your world as of right now, even though quite intriguing, feels very plain due to these descriptions that you're lacking. The way you are writing your first-person POVs feels awfully limited to the characters' internal thought processes. It barely extends beyond that, like to more specific actions or observations of scenery, which is likely the reason for the disconnect from the story. I'm no expert in writing first-person since I deal more with third-person, but perhaps it would do you good to read more books written in first-person. Observe the way the different authors structure their story using this POV, then experiment writing with the styles that you favour until you find one that can really bring out the fantasy and flavour of your story and not make it so confusing.