20CM

⭐chapter nine⭐

its like her hearts on a fire, burning in flames for the first time in a way that it just twist for desperation of something like explosion from the realization that crossed her mind. she gulps down the heavy feeling that maybe her feelings aren't wrong as she thought.

she walks slowly back to where she think she should be with. a guy she likes to be her perfect pair for her preference on a perfect image next to her or the taller guy than her named soobin.

she looks up to him as he shows a gentle smile just like the scenario she had always fantasized when she reads a manga. where a girl looks up at the boy she likes, but what is this feeling? something has changed in her heart. 

“hey you guys were amazing.” he says and kai shyly smiles at the compliment.

“thanks” the music goes and soobin offered his hand and she reached for it. their hands intertwined as they slowly sway to the romantic music. 

its a romantic song and it sounds nice, soobin is dancing her carefully too but her mind is somewhere else, distracted and for the perfect timing when soobin spin her around she was face with taehyun who's dancing other girl and suddenly her heart reached the floor and she wants to turn off the music.

what is this feeling?

soobin continues to lead her to dance but her eyes couldn't move away from taehyun who's eyes fixed on a girl he's dancing with and there's taehyun's adorable smile in front of someone else.

it tightens her chest and she frowns. why does she have to feel this now? she's dancing with soobin, the guy she have been crushing on! then kai looks at taehyun again as she moves with the music, kind of unsynchronized with it just like her mind to her heart. she couldn't help but look at taehyun its just always like magnet.

taehyun looks at her back and their eyes met, it shoots an arrow through her chest and she blushes looking away and focuses on soobin as she silently try to calm her racing heart and mind.

“you know i never really noticed you” soobin speaks tightening his hold on her because kai is literally losing the music. she forgot he's here dancing with her. “because i thought you and taehyun are together.” soobin chuckles.

“oh” she and taehyun are always together. well in fact its just how it should be in her life. on their way to the school, seatmates, studying together, on the music club, playing music together, going home and staying at home and taehyun is always there for her in every and any way. if one day he disappears, what is she going to do?

soobin looks at her and it looks like he knows what's going on. the confusing situation kai is experiencing and its probably because she's literally lost with her steps and been staring at someone else but he smiles so gently and understanding, “do you think you can dance better if its with him?”

“w-what? why ..” and she looks at taehyun again who's also staring at her with soobin. looks like they're both in the same feeling.

soobin spins her around again and this time she can no longer face taehyun and is faced with him who's in front of her instead. “i think you are really adorable like a child kai.” he said and it sounds like a rejection but to her its kind of a relief.

she laughs “you sound like my brother.”

“why did you want me to be your prom date?” soobin asks before spinning her around again and now she can see taehyun again.

“well you are perfect for me...” she looks down on their feet, finally synchronizing with soobin. “but its all just an image.”

“right,” soobin agrees with still a smile on his face “actually i'm gay but i couldn't tell you but now that i think you're realizing things i can finally out on you” 
 
“g-gay?!” kai said of surprised rather than mad because somehow this didn't break her heart, its actually more of a push in her to an answer. 

“you're the first one to know” he chuckles.  

the music has slowly turn into end and the both of them bow at each other. “thank you for dancing with me soobin it was fun!” she said. well at least she got a new friend.

“thank you too and im sorry for not being a good partner to dance with.” soobin shyly smiles.

“no no! you are great” at least she got a new friend. soobin went and gave her a hug and she hugs him back as everyone else are leaving the venue. then the both of them pull from each other away and waves each other goodbye.

soobin walks away like everyone else and kai is left behind there at the dancefloor, she's kind of froze in the spot because somehow things went by too fast that it still sinking in her mind.

so soobin is gay, the guy he have been crushing on because he's just like any boys in her manga and taller than her but this didn't hurt her well in fact it felt like she was pushed into what's more real than any fantasy stories that she reads.

and taehyun, her bestfriend since she was a kid the boy who's always there and held her hand, hugs her, wouldn't even pass a day when they have misunderstanding, buys her ice cream and the one who keeps her up at night.

does she even deserve him?

“kai” she flinched as soon as she heard taehyun's voice call her name. shivers, because she remembered that he'd be here and be closer to her and its crazy panicking her heart. 

she turns around and see's taehyun who looks confuse “lets go now, i already send cris home.”

kai awkwardly laughs, “r-right home.. we're going home together” kai grips her dress, she's acting stupid! why does it feel new now? they have always been like this.. why suddenly she feels like a mess with him?

taehyun looks even more suspicious on her sudden behavior “are you alright? did soobin do something wrong to you?” and he sounds worry. after all this time he still thinks about and care for her...

so she smiles as taehyun grabs her hand smoothly, its an automatic thing to do between them. couldn't stand away from each other one bit without holding hands. “im alright taehyunnie”  and they walk outside.

they're walking down the stairs outside they are meeting yeonjun who's gonna drive them both home. as they both walk, kai couldn't help but squeal internally while watching their hands hold together.

she have to pull herself together too because she might faint from realizing and thinking that taehyun, her bestfriend sang for her earlier as she just remembered and it just keep being on her mind that she didn't realize taehyun stopped behind her, making her stop too a bit lower on the stairs from him.

she turned around about to ask what's wrong when she's faced with taehyun staring at her with this passion in his eyes, hyperventilating her heart “kai..”

and she swears she's going to fall hard on the concrete when he said her name “y-yeah?” she answers unknowingly, heart and hand shaking.

and he steps a bit closer, somehow with the help of gap between them and the stairs made taehyun a bit taller than her and her heart went crazy. this isnt how manga looks like, this is more than anything else she have ever seen and felt.

too close, “i love you” and it kills her for the third time again. taehyun just drop this l word like a bomb and kai's whole world vanished with it if only they could be even more closer.

“and i want you to know that i have always been in love with you ever since when we were little. you're so beautiful it captured me and when you came in my life i never felt lonely anymore,” taehyun took her hand and held it tight looking at her again, stepping down and now they're face to face.

kai couldn't even breathe “t-taehyun...”

“i will always love you, over and over no matter what change will happen as we grow older.”

kai inhales.

she remembered when they were kids, taehyun never really spoke about what he feels its just about her and her. taehyun has became matured now and he is the man of her dreams.

now it feels like its her turn, she wants to say it back. tell him he's her hero since day one, that she also love—

“and its alright if you dont feel the same, i can give you time and space for a while but dont ever think i will leave you alright?” taehyun smiles but its a bitter one, at least for her. she's stunned, give time and space? what does that mean?