postcards and Polaroids

I'd never let you go my dear.

Kellins POV

    I'm currently being dragged to group therapy against my will. I struggle against the man whose got a tight grip on my wrist as my bottom and lower back glide against the cold hospital floor. I haven't been to therapy in two weeks. I haven't eaten in longer. I've given up on everything entirely. Tears sting my eyes. I hear the familiar clinging sound of Handcuffs. I groan out loud and begin to kick at he man. I hate handcuffs. They make me feel so trapped. It gives me so much anxiety. I begin to cry. I'm anchored to the seat yet I still kick trying my best to hold back sobs. I feel A hand on my shoulder. I ignore it continuing my fit of rage. "Let me out!" I scream at the top of my lungs anxiety coursing through my body. I can't stay here. I could feel the groups eyes piercing into me. "Please let me go!" I sob kicking more.  

I'm pulled into A hug. I thrash and try get out of their grasp. But the grip only gets tighter. "I'm so sorry baby." He mumbles in my ear. 

"Vic oh my God." I cry into his shoulder. I hold on to him for dear life. Im afraid that he might leave me. 

"I- I I'm so sorry." I cry into his shoulder. 

"Its okay baby I'm here now." He said rubbing my back rocking us back and forth soothing me. I could hear the group continue therapy as I'm no longer a distraction to them. Vic never let go even after I stopped crying. 

   "Okay boys no touching you know the rule."

We reluctantly pulled apart.  He smile at me looking me in the eyes. He brushed some hair out of my face. His callused fingers touching my skin. I felt my cheeks blush and I knew I looked like a tomato under his loving gaze. "I missed you so much." He said making my cheeks go even redder if that's even possible. 

 I smiled at him and leaned in for a sweet kiss. Our mouths connected and fit perfectly together. His tongue lapping mine. Fighting for dominance. I moaned as he bit my lip.  

Things started to heat up but we were interrupted by laughter. We pulled apart again. Jack and Alex stood above us with knowing grins placed upon their faces. 

"we missed you guys. And we were tired of Kellin not being-" He paused gesturing to me. "kellin."  He said giggling. I think this calls for a group hug. I tried to stand up only to be yanked back down by the handcuffs that attached me to the chair. My cheeks went red with embarrassment. 

I watched as Vic went over to the orderly. I loved watching him he always talked with his hands. He gestured to me as he talked. The orderly sighed and patted Vic on his back. Vic turned towards me and smiled and gave Jack and Alex a thumbs up as he made his way back over to us the orderly following behind him. He pulled out a he and uncuffed me from my handcuffs. 

     Me and Vic held hands as we walked down the hallway. We walked to my room. "we need to talk." Vic said as we sat down on my bed. I nodded for him to start. While I took in his presence. He had white bandages wrapped around both arms and A long scar that wrapped around his neck. His Hair hang long it was brown with loose curls and it danced about his shoulders. His Adams apple jutted out against his scar and I watched it move as he swallowed before he began to talk. 

"I'm so sorry I- I Accused you of what Mike did. I wish I could take it back, and believe me I would if I could.  I'm missed you so much I wrote you letter after letter and I don't know if you were even reading them and every time I saw you it only ever got worse,- and when you ignored me it felt like my whole world was falling apart. I didn't want to eat I didn't wanna sleep I didn't want to move and it got to the point where I didn't even want to breathe. I thought you were forgetting about me My head was constantly spinning and I had no one to talk to.  I hated how everything reminded me of you. How every shade of blue reminded me of your eyes and how water reminded me of tears we cried from laughing so hard on nights where we stayed up until the sun reached the sky again. And how cold I felt with out your smile to warm me up everyday and then the day came. When I seen you smile. But you weren't smiling at me. y-you weren't smiling for me. You were smiling for him. And My heart shattered into a million small tiny pieces at the thought of your lips on another mans. I felt so incredibly small seeing you forget about me. Watching you chose him- ov-over me." He ranted his body racked with sobs and I didn't know what to say. I watched him cry. 

It broke my heart. With every single Sob that led to his shirt being wetter and his flushed face as he let the tears consume him. 

I held him there in my arms. I let the emotions spill from my eyes. "I read them all Vic." I choked out running my fingers through his hair. "You did?" He questioned sniffing as he pulled away from me to get a better look at my face. 

"Yea." I nodded and continued.  "I'm sorry I put you through all that. I just - I- every time I saw you I saw mike. And every time I saw you I saw the same disgusted look You wore on your face when you thought it was me. W-when you thought I was the monster. I began to look at myself as trash and- well. I went to Gerard because when I looked at him I never saw Mike and I never saw disgust. I saw sympathy. I was so deep in my self pity and sulking that I found comfort in the thought that he felt  bad for me." I explained to him.

   "I took the accusation as you breaking up with me." I said as he wiped a tear from my cheek. 

His hand made its way to the back of my neck bringing me closer to him and his lips captured mine. It was a sweet kiss full of passion and Love- longing.  The kiss was full of 'I miss you's' and  'love you's,  chalk full of 'I'm never letting go's'  His lips were salty from his tears but there was nothing Id rather feel over having Vic's lips on mine. 

"What are we?" He asked looking me in my eyes. 

"Together." I said intertwining my fingers with his and kissing him once again my swollen lips against his. His warm hands wrapped around my frame. I smiled into the kiss deepening it. 

Before anything farther could happen the door to my room opened revealing a flabbergasted Gee. "I-"

 "Save it." Gerard cut me off as he left the room.