postcards and Polaroids

Love dies like..

Kellin's POV

       I found myself in an awkward situation. We were in group therapy and I was sitting in between Mike and Vic. Gerard was across from us glaring at me. You see last night Mike stopped by for a good night kiss and Gee walked in on it. I made him swear not to say anything about it. But since what frank did to him, he was not very fond of cheaters. Falling asleep last night was very difficult for me. It was almost nonexistent. I fell asleep at 5:30 AM nurses burst through the door at 6:00 AM. I think people could tell that I had a pretty fucked up sleep schedule seeing I was told 8 times today that I look like shit. It's the bags under my eyes that stands out so much because of how pale my skin is.

         I was also getting glares from Ronnie and Max . They had just gotten out of solitary confinement. They were there for about two weeks for trying to start a fire. Word got around fast and as to why they did it. Was said that they wanted to cause an evacuation so that they could escape while we were being lead outside. Great plan if it would have actually worked. Being here in the hospital has made me wonder a lot. Members from most of the bands that were supposed to be on warped tour were here. So was warped tour like empty? Or did they request other bands to replace us? I'm not sure what happened but I know that we were supposed to be there but I kind of fucked that up. My friends didn't write me any letters. I would have expected Justin out of them all to try to contact me in some way. But he didn't. No one did. Not even my mom. But what did I expect? Her to come out of hiding to talk to me? No. she ran away and she left me with a monster.

       I'm pulled from my thoughts by Margaret calling my name. "Kellin would you like to go first?" Her shrill voice came. "What?" I ask because I clearly wasn't paying any attention. I had no clue as to what she was asking me to do. "We are going around in a circle and listing five emotions that we feel right now." She concluded. I hated that all eyes were on me. "I think I'll pass." I said and then put my head down. "Maybe you could give it a try. Please participate Mr. Quinn." She said. I sighed and sat up. "I guess I'll do it. But don't get used to it. I'm doing this cus you're the only person in this hell hole who says the right last name." I said. Everyone always used Bostwick and it honestly pissed me off to no end. 

      "Five emotions right?" I asked and she nodded encouragingly. Everyone else watched with interest as I never participate in anything. I glanced at Gerard. It was obvious that he was still pissed at me. Both mike and Vic shot me that same loving smile... I think I'm gonna be sick. Why do they have to look a like? I cleared my throat and listed the five emotions. "Confusion, love, Anger, Sadness and...and Hatred." I finished. "Very good Kellin We'll talk about those later thank you for participating." She said. I Just nodded my head and out my head down. 

    "Victor how about you." She asked my boyfriend. "I feel love, betrayed, And hopeless." He said. "But that's only three." She prompted. "I'm only feeling those three emotions right now though you are making me feel slightly annoyed. So there four. Keep going if you want me angry. You'll have your five emotions."He ranted. 

     I heard her sigh as she moved on. It was jack next then Andy. Jack and Alex had to be separated because they couldn't keep their hands to themselves. Then Gerard, Austin, Alan, Ronnie, Max, Alex, josh, Tyler, josh f., then Mike.

A while later we were dismissed for free time before we got locked in our rooms we had about thirty minutes. "Kellin!" Both Mike and Vic shouted at the same time. Wow could it get anymore awkward? I started walking to Vic and I heard Mike smack his teeth while walking away. I sighed and continued on my way. "Hey babe." Vic said pecking my lips. "What's up?' I said walking next to him our arms brushing every once and awhile. "Nothing much I just keep thinking about you. I just can't wait till this is all over so everything can get back to normal." he concluded and I blushed. "Oh Kellin before we get locked in our rooms I wanna talk about something." He said. I nodded for him to continue. "In group therapy when you listed your emotions... you said love but it wasn't about me... was it?"