two p.m. thoughts; random

viii; starting line

what great way to start off a new year then to have people doubting u and not believing in you.

i just never understood why it is just so hard for people to trust me. not even just people people, mainly my immediate family. like i have random people's parents trusting me with their kids, knowing that i wouldn't do anything wrong or that i do try hard when i'm doing something important to me. but my very own don't have a care in the world to even have the littlest of faith in me.

one of my new year's resolutions is to find who i am as a person. and part of that is having a healthier life style. but it seems as though some people think that i am incapable of achieving that.

if u are overweight and i am too, if you ate something that contains a little more than moderate amount of sugar in it and i wanted to eat the same thing, what does it matter that i weight more than u.

and to bring up my insecurities out in front of everyone, not caring about how i feel?

if i told u that i don't feel comfortable with u talking about my weight aloud, especially with the tone and attitude that u say it in.

if i told u that i'm trying to improve myself and you see results but as soon as i eat something that doesn't necessarily follow a certain regiment and you blow up in my face.

don't you think that i wouldn't want to talk to u about anything? is it really that hard for u to believe.

i find it hilarious that your beliefs and culture is that there isn't such a thing as children having feelings besides happiness, or that children don't need therapy.

if a doctor tells you that they have recommended for your child to see a medical therapist and that they are probably depressed. don't u think that ur child needs help?

you just don't make sense to me.

i don't even eat as often as i used to. i don't eat what i used to. i barely eat at all. and the one time i want to eat something that's even a bit unhealthy apparently i'm not trying hard enough.

is it really so hard for you to try and understand how i feel and understand that i am trying and actually supporting me instead of putting me down??