Only Average (EDITING)

Chapter twenty four

Luke’s P.O.V

“What the fuck are you doing?” Ryan yells at me from the top of the stairs. I hear Mike and Jake moving around in their room. Great, Ryan woke them up. He walks down the stairs with his arms crossed over his chest looking at me like he doesn’t even know me anymore. Hell, I don’t know if I even know me anymore. He’s still waiting for an answer even though I know he knows what the answer is going to be. This isn’t the first time he has caught me in the middle of the night strung out with a spoon in my hand. I finally look into his eyes and shrug. All I see there is disappointment.  And it makes me feel like shit. I drop the spoon and drop to my knees in sham. I pound my fists into the floor, grief over taking my body. I can’t believe I let those people effect me this way.. AGAIN. I start crying, something that I haven’t done in five years. It feels like a huge weight has been lifted from me. But now I can’t stop. I lay my head against the marble floor and just unravel. I feel Ryan, Mike, and Jake all by my side. I didn’t even hear Mike and Jake leave their rooms. I suddenly hear this animal sound and I quickly realize that it’s coming from me. But I can’t stop. I get up off the floor with the help of my band mates and move to the couch.

I look into Ryan’s eyes again and this time the disappointment isn’t there anymore, in its place is sadness. I see a tear escape from his eyes and I look away. I try to start talking but my voice is horse from the crying. I clear it and try again, this time I get some words out “I’m so sorry guys. I’m done with everything. The sluts, drugs, the games. I’m done. I’m done letting my parents have this effect on me. I’m done with it all.” When I finally get it all out Ryan takes me into a big hug that reminds me so much of the one he gave me two years ago after I came to him wanting to be sober again. I used my shirt to whip my shame away and said “Can you get rid of the two girls down stairs?” He smirked and replied “No problem man.” And with a pat on my back he left the room.

Both Mike and Jake looked really confused. They stayed with me until Ryan came back into the living room. “They left, not without trying to fuck me first though.” He laughed as he ran his hand through his hand. I heard a sneeze at the top of the stairs and Sarah was standing in the middle of them. Great, now she’s going to tell Marie. She gave an apologetic smile after we all turned to stare at her. She quickly went back to Ryan’s room when Ryan gave her a look saying ‘you should leave, I’ll fill you in later’. Yep, Marie is definitely going to hear about this.

-----------------------------A six months later----------------------------------------------------

Luke’s P.O.V

“I still can’t believe you’re getting married dude.” I say to Ryan as he tries on the tux Sarah picked out for him a few days ago. He laughs and says “Yeah, me either. I never thought I would have found another love after Shelby. Wow, I can even say her name now without being angry. I think I’m going up man.” He says with a chuckle as the tailor measures his right arm. I shoved him playfully and the tailor glared at me like he was about to kill me. Ryan and I both laughed and I said “So, the bachelor’s party for tomorrow night…” I wiggled my eye brows at him at the end of the sentence. He shook his head and said “No strippers, no naked chicks. Just us and the band bar hopping. Oh, and Sarah’s brother.” I held up my hands defensively. “Hey! Why don’t Mike and Jake get this talk?” I pointed to where they were at in the store paying with the mannequins. He rolled his eyes and replied “you know I never have to worry about them doing that, they might get a lot of girls but they don’t hire them for a good time.” The tailor looked at us and shook his head. Whatever, he’s just jealous that he doesn’t get to come. I turned my attention back to Ryan who was looking at me with a knowing smile.

“Hey, I’m not that guy anymore. I haven’t done any drugs in six months and I haven’t even slept with girls that I just met that night. I at least waited a few days.” I finished the last part when Ryan lifted his eye brows and giving me the ‘come on, stop bullshitting me’ look. He smirked and said “Your right. You have been a good boy.” I laughed and pushed him again, earning me another dirty look from the tailor. I shook my head and thought, ugh old people. The old dude finished up Ryan and Ryan went to change out of the suit while I waited patiently. Well patient enough for me. We grab Mike and Jake and head home.