Only Average (EDITING)

Chapter thirty

Luke’s P.O.V

I just got done with my father’s burial. My dad just died, and I don’t know how I am supposed to react. He died of cancer, he died, and that is it. It’s weird that he is no longer here. I know that his company is taken care of and I know that mom is taken care of but I don’t know if that’s enough. He prepared me just for this very moment. But as I look at his body cold and stiff in his casket it is odd to me. I remember the last time I looked into a casket was when I saw my uncle, my dad’s younger brother, in it. Dad looked at me with vacant eyes and said “Luke, this means this company rides on you.” And ever since that day I have hated seeing a family member die. That means I am closer to having to take over the company. And now that my dad is gone it means it’s all up to me. I hate it but at the same time I am ready. I didn’t spend all this time getting ready for nothing. So now that Marie is looking at me expecting me to cry or show any emotion, I’m not going to. My dad told me when he died don’t fall to pieces, don’t show emotions just take over the company and make sure everything is in order and make sure everything is going to be okay.

I think the reason that I’m am so undecided about which emotion to have at this moment is because my dad and I haven’t been close for very long. It has only been a few months since we really started to like each other. It’s weird, because I’m sad that he is dead but for the wrong reasons. I guess if we would have actually been close my whole life I would feel sad. Now I’m just terrified that I’m going to let down four generations of my family. I turn to Marie and lead her out of the church and we are soon surrounded by people I have never seen before saying their regards for my loss. Mom is standing beside me balling her eyes out so I wrap my arm around her small waist to silently let her know that I am here for her.

She gives me a small smile between sobs and shakes everyone’s hands. My ex band mates comes up and says some things to my mom for support. She says thank you to everyone and gets in the back of my car and waited patiently for me to get it. I look over to the other side of the street and of course there are paparazzi everywhere. What the fuck, that’s ridiculous.  Someone died for god sake. This isn’t a banquet or some function. It’s a fucking funeral. They run over to me as I try and get into the front seat.

“How do you feel about your dad’s death?” “Is it true that you told the doctor to pull the plug?” “Are you capable of running the entire company by yourself?” “How do you feel knowing that your father isn’t here to help you run the company anymore?” I stare at them like they are monsters and yell “Fuck off!!! Don’t you know that this is a fucking funeral!!!?”  I flicked them off and then slammed my car door hard to show how pissed off I am. But that only fed them into making more questions and more flashes to go off. I drove off following the cops and hearse to my father’s grave site across town.  There were about twenty cars following us and I had already called ahead to the cemetery to make sure now paparazzi could get in.

The car was silent the entire car ride and when we got there the burial went by in a flash. We buried him where we buried all of our family members. My entire family had a huge place already paid for so we could all be buried together. My mom would be buried beside my dad and I would be buried beside her with whoever I was supposed to marry and our children, too bad that I want to be cremated. I took mom to her house and her sister and mother stayed with her. I drove Marie and I to our condo. I walked into the condo and Rex our great dane that we got a few months ago came running to me in search for some food. “I’ll feed him and then I have to go to the office.” I told Marie while walking to the kitchen to grab his dog food. “Are you sure you should be going to work today? I mean you just buried your dad today.” She said wrapping her arms around my waist. I spun around to face her and lightly kissed her nose.

“I have to, we had something go down last night and it needs to be handled today or it could get worse.” I un-wrapped her hands from me and placed a bowl in front of Rex. “Call Sarah or something. I should be home around eight.” She gave me a small pout so I kissed her lips tenderly and patted Rex on the head on my way out. “I love you.” I said before I closed the front door.  I went to work and it was awful. Everyone at work was saying their regards about my father and wasn’t even for a second talking about what happened yesterday. I came here on my day off to get shit done, not talk about my father. After I got them to get on track they fixed it all in the matter of four hours which with any other team it would have taken two weeks. I love the people that work for me.

------------------------------Six weeks later--------------------------------

“Are you nervous?” Ryan asks me as he fixes my tie. “No so stop asking me.” I reply nervously. Truth is I am really nervous. I don’t know if Marie will say yes or if she will blow me off. We have been living together for more than six months and I am finally ready to ask her to marry me… but at the same time I don’t know if I am ready for her to be my wife. A year ago if you asked me if I was going to be asking someone to be my wife I would of said ‘fuck off asshole, what kind of joke is that?’ but now, I am so ready for her to be my partner in life. To be the only person I can turn to. It just all comes down to if she will say yes….