• If I could turn back time •

15. I Will Love You

"I will love you as long as the sun burns in the sky, as long as the moon shines its light into the dark night, until the raging blue oceans become calm and run dry. I will love you to the end of time."
———

I think I'm sick.

Over the past few days, my throat had grown increasingly sore and my nose was always stuffy. I had this annoying cough that just wouldn't go away. I felt terrible because I was probably keeping Steve up at night with it. Tonight was no different.

My cough had gotten so bad that sometimes, I couldn't really catch my breath before the next bout of coughs came. I tried to muffle my coughs with my pillow or the blanket, just trying to keep quiet so Steve could at least get some sleep. Every now and then, I felt Steve's hand gently rubbing my back when the coughs were particularly bad. I almost wanted to go find somewhere else to sleep, but then I'd just be waking everyone else up.

Eventually, Steve said what was on his mind. "Buck... do you want some water? Water will probably help your throat a bit..." He mumbled drowsily, sitting up in the bed and rubbing his eyes. He turned on the lamp so he could see me and I could see him.

"Yeah.... please.." I murmured, my voice rough from coughing so much. I felt the back of Steve's hand against my forehead and sighed. It was cold and felt good against my hot skin.

"Jesus, Buck.... you're burning up. I'll get you some water and medicine, just stay here and rest." Steve murmured, bending over to press a gentle kiss to my forehead before getting out of bed. He left the room and I assumed he was going to the kitchen downstairs.

I laid there for a few minutes, occasionally changing positions when I got uncomfortable. I eventually ended up on my back with three pillows propping me up so it was easier to breathe. Since I couldn't sleep, I just stared at the wall and waited for Steve to come back.

I was in the middle of blowing my nose when he returned, holding a glass of water and a little cup of liquid medicine. He handed both to me after I finished and got back in bed, sitting next to me. "Thank you, Steeb..." I mumbled, giggling when Steve's name sounded weird because of my stuffy nose. I think I was a little delirious.

Steve chuckled as well, watching me down the cup of medicine and nearly gag because of its horrible taste. "Hey, at least it isn't like medicine back in the day. That stuff tasted horrendous." He shuddered at the thought, shaking his head.

I nodded in agreement, taking a few sips of water before setting the glass down. I sighed, letting my head fall back onto the pillows and staring at the ceiling. "Remember when you got sick all the time an' I always thought you were gonna die...?"

"Yeah... why?" Steve asked, propping his head up with some pillows and laying down next to me. "Buck, you aren't going to die. Medicine has gotten a lot better, trust me."

I didn't answer him right away, I just kind of stared at the ceiling for a few moments. I felt him grab my hand and intertwine his fingers with mine, gently squeezing. I cracked a grin and chuckled, shaking my head. "I know... it just reminded me about how damn scared I was to lose you...." I mumbled, blinking furiously to keep myself from crying. "I don't want you to ever have to worry about me like I worried about you or be scared like I was."

"Bucky..." He lowered his voice down to a whisper, his beautiful blue eyes gazing at me like I was the most important thing in the entire world. In reality, I was just a sweaty, sick, semi-stable 100 year old man with crippling depression. Yet I was loved by the most beautiful person in the world. How is that? "I'm willing to do whatever because I love you... I'll worry because I love you, I'll be scared because I love you.... I'll do all of that. If you ever have to question me or my actions, you'll know it's because I love you. I will love you no matter what happens, through thick and thin. You know why? Because I'm with you to the end of the line, Buck.... Always will be." When he finished, his voice was trembling and I could see tears in his eyes.

God, he's amazing...

I had no words. I wanted to hug him, but I didn't want to get him sick. He apparently didn't care because he flung his arms around me and buried his head in my chest. I cast all my worries aside and embraced him, gently kissing his head. Although I couldn't smell the sweet scent of his hair anymore, I could still feel its soft touch against my cheek as I rested my head on his. After a few moments of silence, I drew in a slow breath and closed my eyes. "I love you..." My voice was just barely above a whisper.

"I love you too..."

A/N: Gahhhhh this was such a heartfelt chapter, I loved writing it! I'm getting back into the writing groove, if you haven't noticed lol. I dunno why, but I like posting multiple chapters for this book in one day because my ideas are just flowing!