• If I could turn back time •

19. Terrified

"I look at you, and I just love you, and it terrifies me. It terrifies me what I would do for you."
———

"Hey man, you alright?"

I froze, my breath catching in my throat. I slowly looked up. There was a middle-aged man, probably in his upper 30s, with brown hair and brown eyes crouching down in front of me. Everything about his body language said concern, so he didn't register as a complete threat in my mind. However, that didn't mean I wasn't nervous. I swallowed hard and managed to nod, running a few fingers through my hair. "Yeah... yeah I'm fine, thanks.." I mumbled, hoping he'd be satisfied and leave me alone.

However, that wasn't the case.

"You sure? I mean, you look pretty frazzled. Are you lost or something?" He asked, his gaze softening upon me. Something told me he was used to seeing this kind of thing.

I, of course, didn't want to bother him with my problems, but he seemed intent on helping me and there was probably no possible way I'd be able to make him go away without being rude. I sighed and rubbed my forehead, sitting up straight in the chair. "I.. uh.... I lost my friend... in the crowd. I don't know where to find him... I don't remember how to get around in this part of the city...." I mumbled, nervously chewing on my lip as I looked at him.

The man then scratched the back of his head and sighed. "Well, I cant really help you there. I'm not from around here. I bet that guy over there could help you, though." He pointed to a man at a cash register. The man had wispy blond hair with bits of grey in it and his face was slightly wrinkled with age. He wore a warm smile that was almost... creepy in a sense.. And his eyes.... his eyes looked icy and unforgiving.

Something about him unsettled me. Maybe it was the fact that he looked strikingly similar to.... no. No, it couldn't be him. He was dead. I was sure he was dead. Maybe I was just seeing things. "Uh... I gotta go." I quickly mumbled, getting up and pushing past the guy in front of me. I ignored the cries of surprise from people as I shoved past them in a frantic attempt to get out of there.

Eventually, I made it back outside and onto the sidewalk. By now, it had started to lightly snow and the temperature had dropped significantly. I looked around, trying to figure out what to do. After a minute, I just decided to pick a store and hang out in there. Steve was bound to come through there looking for me.

The store I chose was relatively quiet and empty with only an old couple and a family meandering around the displays.  I pulled my jacket tight against my body and kept to myself, silently beginning to wander around the store. There were notebooks, fake plants, journals, and all kinds of other things scattered around. I lingered in the section with the journals, but knew I didn't need any more than I already had. Besides, I didn't have much money anyways.

I looked around for a few more minutes until something caught my eye. It was a sketchbook, one with a nice leather strap to keep it closed. I checked the price and was pleased that I could actually afford it. Before I went to pay for it, I got a pack of pencils as well. I hoped Steve still loved to draw, because this was going to be his Christmas present. I felt bad that I couldn't get him anything nicer.

Once I paid for everything, I started thinking about what my next move was. It had been at least thirty minutes since I lost Steve, he should turn up soon. At least I hoped he did, I didn't remember the way to get back to the tower. It was strange that I had recently been forgetting certain things that I knew pretty well. Probably just part of the amnesia. There's a lot of things I don't remember that I probably should.

I didn't realize that I zoned out until I heard a voice calling my name. I snapped out of it and looked around, hearing it again. It was coming from outside. I quickly ran out of the store and spotted Steve standing not too far away. His eyes were searching the crowd and he was still calling my name when I rushed over to him. I practically tackle-hugged him in relief, flinging my arms around him and holding him close.

He cried out in surprise, only to start laughing once he realized it was me. He hugged me back and nuzzled my cheek. "Gee, Buck. I thought I lost you for good." He chuckled, squeezing me once more before letting me go.

"Sorry. There was too many people and I got kind of confused." I apologized with a slight grin, shrugging my shoulders. I saw Steve eying the bag I was holding and pulled it out of view, giving him a playful look. "No peeking!"

Steve smiled and held up his hands in defense. "Alright, alright!" He exclaimed, shaking his head. There was no bag in his hands. I wondered if he went shopping already or not, but decided not to think too much about it. "Hey, you wanna get some hot cocoa or something? My treat." He asked me, tilting his head just the slightest bit.

I nodded with a soft smile. "Sure."

"Awesome, lets get going." He hummed happily, taking my free hand in his and intertwining our fingers. He then began leading me down the sidewalk, gently squeezing my hand whenever I felt a bit nervous or anxious because of the crowd.

A/N: Oooh, what do y'all think Steve got Bucky for Christmas? Also, who do you think that man reminded Bucky of?

I dunno why I ask questions like these in my author's notes, I just like to 😂