• If I could turn back time •

24. When You Can't Run

"When you can't run, you crawl. And when you can't crawl, when you can't do that... you find someone to carry you."
———

Everyone was a threat. They were no longer friends or colleagues. Not even human beings. They were just targets.

And they had to be eliminated.

Bones cracked and blood gushed beneath my metal fist. My limbs moved like they had a mind of their own. I had no control over what I was doing. I was a spectator in my own body, just watching myself injure or kill innocent people. The monster inside of me was rearing its ugly head once again.

I wanted to scream. Cry out for help. Just something. But no words left my lips. They were sealed shut in a silent scowl as I stormed through another hallway. This was not me. This was the Winter Soldier. All of the control I once had over him was gone in an instant.

The events that transpired next came in flashes. For a second, I would be aware of what I was doing. Then I was thrown back into the Winter Soldier programming. It clouded my vision and muted my mind. I felt ill, like someone had injected me with something. My veins were burning as if lava flowed through them.

And then Steve was there. He was trying to keep me from escaping. I remember the icy shock ravaging my body after I hit the water, but then everything went dark.

***

When I came to, a terrible headache was pounding away in my head. My entire body ached.

I cautiously looked around. This place... it wasn't familiar to me. I tried to move, but found that my bionic arm was pinned underneath a clamp of some sort.

"Hey Cap!"

The sudden voice made me jump. I saw Sam walk into the room, closely followed by Steve. The look on his face confused me. He didn't seem angry, but he definitely wasn't happy either. His blue eyes were stoic, his expression taut.

"Steve.." I muttered hoarsely. It felt like there was water in my lungs. I looked up at him, my gaze meeting his.

"Which Bucky am I talking to?" He demanded, but in a softer tone. I could tell that he didn't want to be like that to me.

I sat there for a brief moment, ransacking my brain for anything that could be of use. Some of my memories were still there. Fragmented, but still there. "Your mom's name was Sarah.." I mumbled. "You used to wear newspapers in your shoes." I couldn't help but smile at the memory.

Steve looked relieved. His gaze had softened up. "Can't read that in a museum."

"Just like that we're supposed to be cool?" Sam questioned, casting a skeptical glance at Steve.

I gave him a look, but decided to leave it be. "What did I do?"

"Enough." Steve replied.

A heavy sigh slowly filtered through my lips as I hung my head. "Oh god.. I knew this would happen... Everything Hydra put inside of me is still there... All he had to do was say the goddamn words.."

"Who was he?"

"I don't know.."

"People are dead. The bombing, the setup, the doctor did all that just to get ten minutes with you. I need you to do better than 'I don't know'."

Slowly, things started to come back to me. As much as I didn't want to remember that moment, Steve needed me to. If we were going to catch this guy, we needed information. "He wanted to know about Siberia. Where I was kept. He wanted to know exactly where."

"Why would he need to know that?"

A pit of dread slowly settled in my stomach. "Because I'm not the only Winter Soldier."

Steve leaned back against the wall and pursed his lips. "Who were they?" He asked.

"Their most elite death squad. More kills than anyone in Hydra history. And that was before the serum."

"They all turn out like you?" Sam questioned.

"Worse." I muttered. This wasn't good.

Steve tilted his head a bit. He wanted to know more. "The doctor, could he control them?"

I looked over at him, then looked away. "Enough." I said.

Steve nodded thoughtfully, a grave expression soon appearing on his face. "Said he wanted to see an empire fall."

"With these guys, he could do it. They speak thirty languages, can hide in plain sight... infiltrate, assassinate, destabilize. They can take a whole country down in one night, you'd never see them coming."

Sam slowly walked over to Steve and I could hear them talking, but couldn't make out what they were saying. In the meantime, I had freed my arm from the clamp. These thoughts now weighed heavily on my mind. If that guy was trying to reactivate the other Winter Soldiers, then we needed to stop him. I wasn't sure how we were going to do that, though. Tony certainly wouldn't help us, not after what we did in Romania. He was a lost cause. I hated him anyways.

Right now, the future wasn't looking so bright.

———

Sorry for taking so long to update this story! I kind of forgot about it for a while. Hopefully I'll be able to update it more often! We've still got a ways to go, I'm planning on making this a pretty long book! Maybe one of the longest actual books I've ever written, who knows?

Anyways, hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Thanks for reading!