Broken Wings

Chapter 19 - Champagne

"The last time I saw Unit 1202 in my brain was that time we went to Gapado Island. After that, Unit 1202 never appeared in my dreams again. I feel like because I'm too desperate in trying to remember that I started creating my own narratives in my brain. Everything in unit 1202 just doesn't make sense. For me." I frustratingly share to Doctor Park. Week after our Jeju trip, I had to meet him because there are lots of things I need to get out of my head before I go insane.

"Maybe... maybe not. Don't be too hard on yourself, Rosé. Maybe it doesn't make sense in the angle you're currently looking at but will in a different perspective."

"But I only have that perspective and I don't even know if it's mine."

Dr. Park sighs. "Ch-Rosé." He clears his throat before continuing. "There are hundreds, even thousands, of stories that are stored in our heads. Memories. These stories may be from first hand experience or from others' narratives. And even though you didn't experience it... you just know it. You might feel disconnected to it, because you lost your hold on those memories, but you're doing just fine."

"But Dr. Park," I look down at my hands at my lap. "Why... why do I remember these things? Why only these things that are too... heartbreaking?" I barely managed to get it out of my chest but these are too much for me already. Aside from 1202... I had plenty of things that I keep seeing lately. There's an image of a woman with so many cuts and bruises. Then I finally figured out the old foreign song from before, Unchained Melody, but now everytime I hear, it makes me feel like... I lost someone. Aside from those, I keep seeing funerals. FUNERALS. I never had decent sleep ever since.

"Oh, Rosé." Doctor Park exclaims with sympathy. "Maybe, your mind is letting you peek on those memories because it feels like you're strong enough for them."

I don't know if I am. "It's really hard. These days have been really tough. And I don't know what to think anymore. My head is messing up with me. I guess the lack of sleep is making me terribly emotional. I don't want to feel pathetic but if I don't make sense of these memories, then who I am really? Just someone with a name."

"Don't rush yourself. Healing process takes time. It will all gonna make sense... don't force yourself too much. How about doing something that's gonna take your mind away from thinking too much? Go out with your friends. What's the name of that guy who fetch you the last time? You said you went to Jeju with him right? Why not ask him?"

Huh. Jungkook. I'd ask him but I'm pretty sure he's not available.

I smiled at Dr. Park, taking his suggestion into consideration... just not with Jungkook. "Sure, Dr. Park. I'll keep that in mind."

Dr. Park gave few pointers just like my last visit. But other than that, he also gave me a new prescription for pills that can help me sleep if I need it.

I went out of Dr. Park's office to be greeted by Nurse Irene's smile. I like her smile... it makes me feel like everything will be okay. Maybe it will do. I hope it will.

"So who's gonna fetch you today?" Nurse Irene asks.

"One of our friends. My brother can't make it, he has a music show schedule due to his comeback."

Irene nods at my explanation. "So then it will be the other guy. The one that fetched you last time?"

Jungkook? I laughed which came out as a little dry but who cares. I don't even want to think about that guy as of now. I shrugged my head no to which she replied with an understanding smile.

"It's one of our other friends. Min Yoongi. The owner of AGD, the agency my brother works under." I inform her even though she's not really asking any further.