Rhiannas POV
It's been a month since I've found out about Cam. I've been ignoring the boys and I've been sitting on the bleachers at lunch time. I've been spending as much time as possible with Cam because I know he doesn't have much time left.
I know when he goes I won't have any one to be there for me like he was with Shawn and I'll be truly alone. I've tried to be happy around him because I know that's what he wants but it's hard. I feel like I've lost everything. The boys still talk to Cam but I make sure I'm not around. They constantly try to talk to me but I ignore them.
They don't deserve to see me this way. Cam doesn't deserve to see me this way, in fact he doesn't deserve any of this but I knew I couldn't do anything to change it and he wanted me to be around him.
I was currently eating lunch on the bleachers reading 'The Fault in Our Stars' which I found a bit cliché for the situation I was in right now. I decided to stop smoking, finding it disrespectful for Cams sake but instead I've started self-harming again. Not where he can see of course because I knew how much it would hurt him but I couldn't control myself.
I'm soon distracted from my thoughts with a shadow leaning over me. I don't bother looking up because I wanted to ignore everyone at this school. If no one was around me I'd have no one to be hurt by.
"Hey..." he said and I instantly knew it was JJ. I missed him but I didn't dare respond otherwise I'd feel like I ruined everything. "Rhianna please talk to me, stop ignoring us!"
I can hear the frustration in his voice but I keep my eyes on the ground. He lets out a sigh and sits by me. That was all he had to do before I shot up and ran to the girls bathroom. I knew I'd eventually talk to him if I stayed so I had to leave.
I locked myself in one of the stalls and cried because of everything. Because of Cam. Because of Shawn. How was this fair, how come I had two people who meant the most to me. 'Why me?' was all I was asking myself repeatedly, but then I thought about how Cam must feel and how I was being selfish.
The bell soon rang as I made sure no one was in here before I unlocked the door and stepped out to look in the mirror.
My eyes were bloodshot and puffy from crying. My makeup ran down my face and my hair had gotten messy. I honestly looked like a monster.
I was all my make up off and tie my hair into a messy bun. I brought my make up to school since crying was a normal thing for me at the moment. I looked pale and unhealthy but I didn't care. I re apply my eyeliner making sure it was black and bold. I did my mascara and took one last look in the mirror.
I looked dead in a way.
But in all honesty I felt dead in a way. Apart of me was anyway. I walked out of the bathroom and made my way to class.
I enter late which earns all eyes on me. I don't bother waiting for the teacher to rant at me I just go and take a seat as far away from any other students.
"Why are you late Ms Connors" Mr Peters asked.
"Sorry sir it won't happen again." He just sighs.
"I'm sorry but I'm going to have to give you a detention after school" I nodded, not really wanting to start an argument with my teacher
He begins to teach when the teacher gets hit in the back of the head with a paper plan. Seriously? Who's childish enough to do something like-
All I hear a familiar laugh. I look up and see Jack.
"Mr Gilinsky do you find this funny?"
"What do you think?" he says back. What was he doing it's like he wanted to get in trouble.... Oh no. before I could do anything to stop him the teacher yells.
YOU ARE READING
ALONE j.g.
Fanfiction‘It's not like I want to be alone, it's just I don't want to get hurt. ’ (currently being edit)