Phil's POV
I had broken down that morning.
Seeing him there, so hurt, was far too much for me to take. He broke down too. So we stood there, together, breaking as one.
When we pulled away from each other at last, I saw his tear stained face staring into my soul with the deepest brown eyes to ever exist. My baby.
"What's upsetting you so much about my misery?"
He asked me that night, as we were cuddled up on the couch watching AHS.
"What do you mean?"
I asked, looking over at him.
"I mean... I understand why it upsets you that I'm going to a hard time... But you seem so genuinely destroyed by it sometimes. I don't get it."
"Well it's cause you're my best friend. I really care about you."
"I know... I just... I don't know. You care so much it's... Odd. I mean, I don't mind it. I love that you care about me so much. But... Wow."
I wanted to say right then and there that 'well perhaps it's because I like you as more than a friend. Perhaps I'm in love with you. Perhaps I wish every day that you were mine. Maybe that's why.'
...So I did.
When I finished, he looked over at me with his mouth gaping wide open. His eyes were the size of the moon. He looked more shocked than I had ever seen him.
Fuck. Me.
Why did I say that? Why did I do that?
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Good going, Phil. Real nice of you to ruin your best and only friendship. Awesome.
The realization that I probably just made the biggest mistake of my life came crashing down on my like a wave.
Standing up, I quickly scrambled to reach the door and bolt out of our apartment as quickly as I possibly could.
I was so embarrassed. I was so upset. I could've died. He probably hates me now. He probably thinks I'm disgusting. Oh lord, why...?
I didn't bother to get my coat or anything. I just ran for dear life. Out into the cold, horrid night. It was snowing. Huge, cold snowflakes pelted against my bare skin. But I didn't care. I just had to run and get as far away as I could from there.
Where could I go... Where could I go...?
The coffee shop? No. Behind the coffee shop? I could hide out there until I could call someone to come pick me up and take me somewhere... I don't know. Away from here. Alright. Good plan.
It was an awful run. The city lights danced around me in a flurry of confusion as I attempted to avoid fainting from hypothermia right there on the pavement. The snow melted on my already cold skin, causing me to hardly be able to catch my breath. I trembled.
God, help me please...
Finally, the coffee shop came into view. I ran harder than I thought possible through the freezing cold air to around the back of the shop.
Slumping against a cold brick wall, I fell to the ground and hugged my knees, crying and gasping for breath.
What have I done...?
After about 20 minutes, I heard footsteps approach me. I curled tighter into my ball of shame and attempted to quiet my sobs.
By then, I felt as though I had thoroughly frozen through. I could hardly shiver anymore.
It was so cold.
Ice cold.
The footsteps continued to get closer to me. I tried to hide my face, and hoped they wouldn't approach me, whoever they were.
The footsteps finally got to me. I almost peeked up over my hands, but decided that they'd probably leave if I just refused to respond to them being there.
But instead they sat down next to me.
Who the hell-
"Babe?"
Dan.
I looked over at him in shock.
"How did you get here?"
"I drove."
I shook my head.
"Dan... I..."
The snowflakes came down harder and harder, starting to cover the ground in layers of white.
"I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. I mean, I didn't think through how you would react if I was so open about my feelings and..."
I looked him deep in the eyes, his hair whipping around in the wind and wet from the snow.
"I probably ruined the best thing I ever had."
He didn't respond at first. He just sat, trembling, staring me right in the eyes.
And then, he leaned towards me. I thought maybe he'd hug me and tell me we could just forget about it. But then something happened that I'd needed to happen for so long. His sweet pink lips pressed passionately but softly against mine. And then we were kissing. I didn't pull away to question him, I just enjoyed the best moment of my entire life.
Suddenly, the cold was gone. The snowflakes had gone away due to the love and warmth pulsing through me at the exact moment that he was all that mattered. It was just me and him.
I wish the moment could have lasted forever. But soon enough, the kiss ended, and I was once again staring into his deep brown eyes through the white flakes falling from the sky.
"Phil... I've always... Always loved you. Hearing you felt the same way was... The best thing that could possibly happen to me. You're all I need."
He reached a hand up and ran it through my hair, then brought it to rest on my cheek before kissing me shortly.
I smiled hugely and shook my head, feeling the cold return.
"Why'd you act so surprised then? I thought you hated me or something."
"No... No not at all. I was shocked. That's all. You didn't give me much time to react."
I laughed.
"Right..."
"Now... Can we please get in the car and go home? We never finished the new episode of American Horror Story. Plus, it's about 2 degrees out here."
I nodded and began to stand up. I found it was a lot more impossible than it seemed. Almost having completely frozen to the ground in the length of time I was there, my legs could hardly move.
After finally being able to stand up, Dan and I made our way to his warm car and drove home.
