(A/N YALL ARE TOO FUCKING MUCH 800 READS I MEAN JUST LORD GEESUS HOW CAN YOU BE SO BEAUTIFUL AND WONDERFUL hmm I feel like you guys should have a name like my.... My.... Kawai... Demon... Bunnies. Yep. That's definitely it. But anyway sorry for that^ I love you all, and enjoy the new chapter!)
TRIGGER WARNING!
Please please please skip if your are sensitive to mentions of self harm. I don't want anyone hurting themselves. Love you all.
Dan's POV
And with that he was off into the night. I was alone. Just me and myself.
Seconds later, my phone vibrated against my warm thigh through the blankets.
I thought it must be Phil, but why would he text me while he was driving?
Turns out I was wrong.
New message
From 'dad'
8:26 pm
My heart instantly stopped.
Why... Why... What?
Swallowing all my fear, I breathed deeply and moved a shaking finger to read the text.
'Look, Daniel. I'm sorry I flipped out on you like that. Maybe I shouldn't have hit you so hard. Maybe I shouldn't have screamed so loudly. But... As "ridiculous" as it may sound to you... You had every right to be insulted. I know you're probably waving your little rainbow flag, saying how "it's not bad to be gay! It's just natural!" But I'm telling you. It's not natural. Two GUYS being in a relationship? That's disgusting. If you don't believe me, just consult the bible, would you? I know I can't change your mind, as you seem to be pretty set in your "ways" but honestly... I'm just not going to accept this. This might cause you to be upset, but imagine what I'm going through! My own son! A fag! Ah... I guess this is farewell. Sad to say I won't see you in hell, Dan.'
I dropped the phone on the coffee table.
His words echoed through my mind like a scream through an empty hallway.
Heart still pounding in my chest, I nearly tripped over my own feet running to my bedroom. Even though I was the only one in the house, I slammed and locked my door. Throwing myself down violently on my bed, I grabbed my pillow and gripped it tightly to my chest. I didn't cry. I didn't scream. I just laid there and tried to calm my pounding heart. But it just continued to explode inside my chest.
I always felt like I had this disease. This poison inside me. It was just like this when my nightmares were happening. There was this horrible... Thing... Running through my body... It started in my legs... It made them tremble and shake... Then up to my stomach, which would twist into knots... Then up to my chest... Causing my heart to seize and struggle as if someone were squeezing it as tight as they could and it was trying to escape... But then... It reached my mind.
And it was all over.
My thoughts hit me like a pile of bricks.
And the living nightmares began...
What do you mean to him, you think? Hm?
...
Answer me...
Nothing.
Ah, not quite!
Less?
Mmhmmm...
I mean less than nothing to him.
Yes!
My own father.
That's correct!
Who's supposed to love me.
Absolutely!
But he doesn't.
Right. And so now think about this, my Daniel. If you mean less than nothing to him... If he hates you... Then what do you think you mean to the rest of the world?
Nothing.
Right! And your family?
Nothing.
And your friends?
Nothing.
And Phil?
...
C'mon, let's face the truth, Dan...
Nothing.
Correct again! You're good at this game!
...
So... Now... How many reasons are there for you to be alive?
...
What's that? I couldn't quite hear you.
...none...
Yes! Yes! That's it!
...
Now... Let's take that into consideration with our proceeding actions, shall we?
...okay...
Hah... I knew you'd come to your senses, my friend. My dear... Dear... Little Danosaur...
❤️❄️❤️❄️❤️❄️❤️❄️❤️❄️❤️❄️❤️❄️❤️
When I came to my senses, I was on my bathroom floor. Knife in hand. Mind in hell.
With my surrounding senses, I had a feeling I was going mad. But I embraced it. May as well, right?
Uncurling myself from the ball I had been in, I observed my body. I had a rip in my jeans. Wonder where that came from. My arms had deep slashes across both wrists. Probably not deep enough to kill me. But there was always a chance I'd get lucky. It appeared as if they'd been cleaned and tended to. There was no blood anywhere. Hm.
I stretched my legs out and got to my feet slowly. Waiting for my mind to remember what I just did, I made my way to my closet and grabbed a long sleeved black jacket so I wouldn't have to look at my arms. Nor would anyone else.
That's when I collapsed on my bed and began to sob violently into my covers.
What had I just done??? Oh my god I hurt myself... I hurt myself bad... Real bad... Oh god oh god oh no...
I cried for what seemed like forever. But I was still relieved my emotions and sense of mind had returned to me. I couldn't believe I had done something like this. I couldn't believe I just let my mind take over like that.
Eventually I calmed myself down enough to where I was no longer crying and my heart had slowed to an almost steady rhythm. I should call Phil.
Perhaps.
