Phil's POV
That night, I fell asleep smiling. I felt so happy that he had led me home with an arm around me, holding me close as not to lose me in the blustering winters night. It was only early December, but the temperatures had dropped like crazy in the last week.
I thought really hard about something I had put off in my mind since the moment I met Dan.
It was time to be completely, brutally honest with myself.
I loved Dan Howell. So much. But... Did I love Dan Howell? I mean... Did the overwhelming feeling of wanting to take him in my arms and never let him go mean more than I thought?
I hardly ever questioned my sexuality. I just waited until I found someone I loved and loved them as best I could. But this was a big deal. What would my family think? What about my friends? And how would the fans react?
Wait.
What about Dan?
Dan and I had been best friends for five years. How on earth would he take it if I suddenly revealed to him that I was in love with him? I could ruin the best friendship I ever had. Or the love of my life could finally be mine... Was I willing to take the risk?
Okay. I know. It's no longer uncertain. I am hopelessly in love with him. We were close. But I wanted him to be mine. I wanted to wake up in the morning and tell him I love him and ruffle his hair and hold him and kiss him and tell him how special he is. I wanted to go to sleep at night with his arms wrapped around me and his head leaned against my shoulder. I wanted to go out and walk the streets of London with his fingers intertwined with mine. I couldn't hide forever.
What to do... What to do...
I decided I shouldn't worry myself this late at night. So I just switched off my lamp and fell into a deep sleep.
Until a loud knock came at my door.
