Love the Lost BxB

Honest Heart (Jeff)

"It looks like you got a new clothing style son. It looks mysterious." Alex joked weakly as Jeff frantically began to climb out of the bed, pulling away from Brant in the process.

"I hear if you look like a goth, people leave you alone," Jeff answered as he dashed to his dad and felt his large arms wrap around him.

"If you could just get over killing another person without feeling guilty about it, then you would be worse than the person who did that to you." He said softly as Jeff felt tears sting his eyes.

"But he was evil, he had to be stopped," Jeff whispered back, his voice breaking. "There was no other way, he would just try again if I had let him live."

"Then it sounds like you did what you had to do." Alex responded softly as he squeezed tighter. "I've heard you have been through quite an ordeal."

"I really have," Jeff whimpered back, refusing to leave the hug even though he felt Brant's eyes on him. "It was the hardest thing I've ever had to go through."

"Let's sit down, we can talk about it." Alex responded as he slowly began to pull away, leaving Jeff to tremble in front of his father. A heavy arm wrapped around his shoulder, and he was slowly guided back to the bed near Brant. "So, this is the boy that took you in?" Alex asked, changing the subject and looking over to Brant., "He seems handsome enough."

Brant blushed, offering up his can of cool whip. "Would you like some sir?" He asked in a timid voice as his fingers began to tremble slightly. "I haven't slobbered on it or anything, I swear." Alex began to chuckle and nodded his head no.

"Handsome and charming, I see why he drew you in so quickly Jeffster." Alex continued as Jeff smirked through his tears. His heart felt like it was going to explode, his dad was there, and so was Brant. He enjoyed the heavy arm on his shoulder and felt his pain slowly bury itself.

"Jeffster! How come I never thought of that!" Brant whined as he smacked his empty hand to his face, careful to avoid his bandages. "That is so much cooler than Jeffy!"

Slowly sitting on the bed, and tugging on Alex's arm, Jeff looked over at Brant unhappily as his tears blurred his vision. "That's not a name for anybody but him." He explained with a sniffle as he adjusted on the bed, making sure to hide his scars the best he could. "Nobody else can call me that." He paused for a second as he wiped his nose on his blanket. "If you try, I'll tell Clare you tried to touch me and she'll castrate you!" Brant instinctively covered his privates while Alex began to laugh.

"It looks like your still rough as sandpaper Jeffster. I'm glad you didn't lose your sense of humor while I was gone." Alex bellowed, as Brant let out an uncomfortable chuckle. "You might wanna tone it down a little though, I think he might think your serious." Jeff looked up, his tears slowing, but his emotion holding true.

"It's not a name for him to use," Jeff replied, his voice raw with emotion. "That was what mom called me, and then you. Now that she's gone, I don't want anybody else to use that name but you." Brant took a breath, trying to interrupt, but Jeff continued. "I may love him, but that doesn't make him you. He has his own nickname for me. I expect him to stick with that one, and one day, a long time in the future when you die, that stupid nickname will pass from my memory. Just like this nightmare I feel like I got caught in."

Letting out a weak sigh, Alex let go and went over to one of the small chairs near the table and brought it back over next to the two before sitting down. "Jeff, I know it seems like you can just push it away like nothing's wrong, but that won't fix your problem. You need to go through it and process your emotions if you ever want to heal and truly move on..." Jeff took a deep breath and scooted his legs up to his chest. "If you don't talk about it, it's just going to fester and take over your dreams. Remember what happened when mom died? You hardly slept for a long time, and it only went away after you talked to the counselor who was a close friend of your mom. It's time you talk about what's really bothering you. Whatever you have been telling them isn't the whole truth. I can see it in your eyes."