Where to Begin

Chapter 20

  "Hey! I need to talk to you," Aubrey came rushing down the stairs as soon as I walked in.

"I feel like we haven't spoken in ages, even though we went shopping yesterday," she said flopping on my bed.

"Yeah, it's weird," I said flopping down next to her.

"I told Lillian about the baby," she whispered.

"Really? What did she say?"

"She was first mad at Jackson but then was happy for me and offered to help,"

"And you guys have been looking at baby things haven't you?"

"Yeah, sorry I didn't include you,"

"It's ok, a lot's been happening and I didn't tell you when we went shopping because it wasn't the right time,"

"Spill the tea!"

"Well, the other night, I broke Noah's puzzle so I spent the whole day rebuilding it and that night, I went, when everyone was sleeping, to the kitchen and put it back where I found it,"

"And? I thought it would be juicier,"

"Wait, wait. So I went into the kitchen and guess who's sitting at the island?"

"Who?"

"Connell,"

"Really? And..."

"And we started talking but next thing you know..." Her eyes widened and she let out a huge squeal.

"Shut up! He kissed you?"

"Shh!"

"Oh my gosh!" She whispered.

"Yes but then I realized I was kissing Specs, you know? And I also realized it was too early to start anything and then I got all emotional and told him that I liked him but he mustn't like me back and he said that was impossible..."

"Aww!"

"No, not 'aww', because then I had to tell him that we couldn't be anything and went to bed that night by crying myself to sleep,"

"Ah shame," she hugged me. "But at least you got him an amazing birthday present," she smiled.

"Yeah but then the next day we talked and he asked if I would be willing to one day be more than friends and I said maybe. It's just that everything was happening too quickly you know? Ugh, I just wish boys didn't exist sometimes," I flopped down holding my head.

"Celine, boys are just a necessary evil. You need them because they obviously can, like, create new life but are also heartbreakers and liars and everything in between.

"But Connell was your first kiss then?" She beamed at me.

"Yes, and it's not that I didn't enjoy the kiss, I loved it. It's just the person I was kissing and – I do have feelings for him, I have so many feelings for him but I don't want to do anything and then end up hurting him,"

"I know," she said rubbing my arm.

"So when are you going to tell Jackson?"

"Ah, I don't know," she breathed.

"How far along are you?"

"About two months and a bit,"

"So when did you and Jackson...sorry, but I thought you said you haven't seen them in a while?"

"He visited me at college while his family were on holiday and we went back to my place and we got a little drunk and..." she sighed.

"Oh, so when did you guys break up?"