Where to Begin

Chapter 16

  When I finally finished putting the puzzle back together, I transferred it to a piece of paper and carefully took it back to the kitchen where I found Connell, quietly sitting at the island with a mug in front of him.

"Ladybird – what are you doing?"

"I could ask you the same thing," I said carefully placing the page on the island.

"I was thirsty – oh, you're finished. Wow, you finished a puzzle that took Noah three days, in fourteen hours," He said coming to my side of the island to look at it. I gently slid the puzzle onto the cold marble counter.

I let out a breath of relief and sat down.

"All I do is just...ruin everything," I said looking at the puzzle.

"What? No you don't,"

"Connell, I got you guys two weeks of house arrest, you and I had a falling out, Zero got upset after we pranked him, I broke this puzzle – I'm just... one huge bad luck token,"

"Hey, hey, no you're not," he came and sat next to me.

"I am, I've just brought bad luck the entire time I've been here. I should just leave, then nothing bad will happen to you guys." A tear ran down my cheek.

"Please don't leave," Connell's voice squeaked as he wiped my cheek. "The universe brought you here for a reason," he said gently moving a piece of hair from my face. He looked at me with his deep, brown, beautiful eyes.

"Well, the universe was wrong,"

"The universe is never wrong."

My breath suddenly hitched in my throat and my heart felt like it was going to come out of my chest. Connell leaned in and kissed me. It only lasted a few seconds until he pulled away and looked shocked, like what he had done was wrong.

I stood up and looked at him – then leant down and kissed him again. I felt his strong hands cup my face as he got up. It was perfect. No one else was around; the whole house was silent and I was kissing Connell.

Oh – my – gosh, I was kissing Connell.

I pulled away quickly at the realization. So much for the whole 'first kiss with my boyfriend' thing.

"What's wrong?"

"Connell – this shouldn't happen," I said looking at the stove behind him and anything that wasn't him.

"What shouldn't happen?" He asked confused but his warm hands still cupped my face.

"This – whatever it is between you and I,"

He moved closer.

"Why?" He whispered.

"I don't want to end up hurting anyone," I cooed, slowly walking away.

"Who would you be hurting?"

He caught up to me and held me by my arms.

"You."

We were so close I could feel his breath. My cheeks started burning and my eyes started welling but I so desperately wanted to kiss him again.

"You won't hurt me, I promise," he breathed.

"And what if I do? I made a promise to myself after we fought, that I wouldn't hurt anyone else in this house,"

"How would you hurt me?"

I shook my head and walked back upstairs.

As I reached my door, he grabbed my shoulder and spun me around.

"How would you hurt me?" He asked again quietly but more seriously.

"I don't know how but it's too early and...I know that I might and I – I don't want to,"

He stood and stared at me.

"I'm sorry, Connell, I just – ''

"What do you think of me?"

"Is that a trick question?" My voice cracked while I tried to hold back my tears. I felt stupid and embarrassed.

"What do you think of me?" He whispered again and stepped closer as he held my arms, which were crossed.

"I like you – a lot but – ''

"Then there you go. I like you a lot too," he tried to kiss me again.

"But you shouldn't," I pushed him away.

"Celine – '' he breathed. "That's impossible."

The soft light from the stained glass window caught a slight red colour in his hair.

"It's not."

He started getting teary. Small tears, just at the edge of his eyes but they were small enough for me to see. I slowly turned and went into my room and closed the door behind me.