Where to Begin

Chapter 23

"Connell?"

"Yeah?" he grumbled.

"Are you hurt?" I went in and sat next to him. He was looking at the floor with his shirt in his hands. I turned his chin so I could see his face. He had a small cut on his cheek and his brown curls were hanging messily in his face.

"You have a cut near – '' I reached for his cheek but he moved his head away. I left his room to get a face cloth soaked with water and came back. He hadn't moved.

"Here," I said, lifting the cloth to his face. He flinched as I held the cloth to the small cut. "Thank you for saving us tonight," I said quietly.

"Chase was in trouble and he's my twin, so what was I supposed to do?" He muttered.

"Are you seriously angry with me?"

"I'm not angry with you," he whimpered.

"Then why can't you talk to me normally?" I asked taking the cloth away.

"Because, it's just...forget it,"

"No, what?"

"It's just, you don't have to leave to make things better. I don't know why you think that. You made everyone's lives better by coming here and when you talk about how you should just leave and whatever,

it – it makes me angry because I don't want to see you go – no one here does," he got up and started pacing around his room.

"Yeah but that's not your decision. Stop trying to be such a humanitarian. How have I made everyone's lives better if all I have done is make them worse?" I asked getting up after him.

"Because, bad things were happening to us before you got here,"

"Connell, you're just trying to – ''

"It's the truth, Celine! No one wants you to leave so you shouldn't and you must stop telling yourself that all you've done is bring bad luck ok! It's like, I don't even know, it's like you're thinking of running away or something,"

A thought popped into my head. "What if I am? What would you do?" I challenged him. He gave me a sad look.

I stepped closer to him; close enough so our faces nearly touched and I could feel his breath on my nose. He smelled faintly of sweat and deodorant.

"What would you do if I ran away?"

"I don't know." His voice cracked as he whispered. His eyes flickered to my lips.

"Exactly, you shouldn't worry if I run away. Goodnight." I forced myself out of his room and back to my room.

I woke up later that morning and looked at my clock. I only got five hours of sleep. Seven seemed too early for my own liking but I headed to the kitchen. Max was sitting in the kitchen eating cereal at the island. I went and got some water and leant on the counter, across from him. We talked a while about the party from the night before, about Stevie and Conor and about Chase's birthday. Just as we started talking about who Max had met, a girl with blonde hair came creeping down the stairs and tried to sneak out the front door but saw Max and I sitting at the island. She froze, as we looked at her confused. Her hair was a knotted mess, her makeup was smeared all over her face and the bottom of her magenta mini skirt was caught in her underwear. She quickly smiled at us nervously before heading out the door.

"What the hell?" I asked laughing and Max just shook his head and laughed too.

We waited until everyone was in the kitchen and Chase woke up last. Max said they got to wake up late on their birthdays.