Where to Begin

Chapter 29

Chase and I had been in the library for almost an hour. I broke the kiss after like a minute even though it felt like ages.

I went and fetched the books we had left outside on the garden terrace and it had started raining again.

"Flip!" I ran over to the swinging chair where luckily, both our books were sitting comfortable and dry on the cushioned seat.

"Come here!" Chase shouted to me as I slowly made my way down the stairs. I ignored him playfully and went over to the shelf where I put our books back. I wasn't interested in Lord of the Flies any more and Chase had finished his book anyway.

"Hey! I said come here!" He came over to me and picked me up by my waist.

"Chase!" He put me down gently and I went over to the ladder on the tallest bookshelf. I climbed all the way to the top, where my head nearly touched the roof, and looked down just to realize how high up I really was.

"Come on! I want to talk." I heard Chase call from below. I got a guilty feeling in my stomach. Where had I heard this before?

"What do you want to talk about?" I didn't want to get too close to Chase because then my head and heart would be properly conflicted and I didn't want to lead him on anymore than I already, apparently, had.

"Can we talk about earlier, please?"

After grabbing a book that I had no real interest in, I slid down the ladder to the floor.

"What about earlier?" I asked walking over to the armchair and crossing my legs.

"Just like...what now?"

"You're going to have to be more specific," I opened the book without even having looked at the cover.

"Well, I just want to know where we stand? You know? Are we anything? Are there any feelings between us?"

"Chase, I don't know what happened earlier ok? I don't want to say that we are anything just in case but I have to clear up some stuff in my head and just figure out where I stand before I can know for sure where we stand, ok?"

"So, you didn't feel anything during our kiss?" He cooed.

"I didn't say that." I went and sat in front of him on the small coffee table. He was sitting in his original armchair.

"So what did you feel?" He asked leaning forward on his knees.

I sighed. "I felt something. Look, I'm not going to lie to you, Chase...I do get butterflies around you and you make my head spin and I loved kissing you – but I don't know if my feelings are genuine or just hormonal," he nodded. "My question is...what are we going to do about Connell? Because I know that he likes me and you know and he gets really jealous and protective over me, I don't know why, but if he finds out, that won't only ruin my relationship with him but it'll ruin your relationship with him and I will not let that happen,"

"Then he can never find out, ever..."

"Do you understand now why I said you were beautifully complex?"

"No..." he grinned.

I didn't know what to do with my feelings. Every time I looked at Chase and he spoke to me, I just wanted to hug him but I also felt the same about Connell but the thing is that...I felt that way about Connell first and I know that liking people and relationships isn't about who I liked first but I didn't know how I truly felt about them.

We went downstairs to find everyone sitting in the lounge playing Uno.

"There you guys are, I was starting to get worried." Lillian said without looking up from her cards.

Sawyer had a naughty look on his face so I mouthed 'Shut up' to him without the others noticing.

"Yeah, what were you guys doing?" Sawyer asked placing a card on the table.

"Oh, you know, reading...book club kinda stuff." Chase said nervously. I could see Connell in the corner and he had a bit of scowl on his face.

"I'm going to go shower." I said quickly, trying to escape the awkward situation.

As I passed Max and Calvin's room, I heard Max on the phone to someone.

"Yes, of course! Thank you so much! You will not regret this, I promise!" He hung up and flopped on his bed with a huge smile on his face.

"Knock, knock?" He jumped up when he saw me.

"Ladybird!"

"Who were you on the phone with?" I asked already knowing the answer. He just gave me a huge grin.

"Max congratulations!" I ran and hugged him. "Which was it?"

"Both! Can you believe it! And here I was thinking I should forget about my dream of acting!" He laughed.

"That's amazing! That is genuinely amazing! I'm so proud of you!" I said hugging him again. "So what did they say?"

"Well, the people from 'The Noise' said that they were impressed with my ability to get into character so quickly and my ability to 'engage in dramatic scene' and they want to see me at the screen tests,"

"And what about 'Changers'?"

"They said that they loved how I spoke my words and engaged with them in scene and they want me to do a screen test and chemistry test with one of the female leads!"

"That's amazing! Well, I cannot wait to be seeing you on the big screen! Ok, I'm going to go shower." I said leaving his room.

"Celine, wait!" He caught up to me in the hall. "I don't think I would've gotten this without you, honestly,"

"What? Max, I wasn't the one doing the audition, I was just there supporting," I turned to get to my door.

"No but if you hadn't spoken to the people from 'The Noise' then I wouldn't be doing screen tests for them," he had a sparkle in his eye from the excitement.

"Well, anything to help," I smiled. He just stood there, looking at me. "Ok, I really need to shower."

"Wait, can I just quickly tell you something?"

"Yes, what is it?"

"Ok, here we go...I have a huge crush on you and I have had since the day I laid eyes on you..."

No, no, no, no, nooo.

"I know this may be a lot to take in but just please consider. We'd be so good together and you're already best friends with my best friends and I mean – '' he was talking so fast that my head started spinning.

"Max! Stop! You don't have a crush on me,"

"Yes I do – ''

"No, you don't. You're just caught up in theexcitement right now. You need to have a rest or something and I really have to go shower." I quicklyslipped into my room, leaving Max speechless in the hall.