Broken

Part 24

Angel's Point of View

I sat on the couch for twenty minutes wondering how I was going to fix the cluster fuck I had created with Sophia. She was right, I was the one to make the first move and then I did everything in my power to push her away. Three days since the kiss and all I could think about was her and the way it felt to have her lips pressed against mine. When she walked out of the living room after telling me she was done, it hurt more than I expected it to. I realized then that I didn't want her to give on me, but I couldn't comprehend the thought that someone could love me as much as she did. I had never been loved the way Sophia wanted to love me and I was terrified to let her in. I wasn't used to being number one in someone's eyes.

After setting my cigarettes on the coffee table, I made my way to the bedroom. I could see that the light was off and for a moment I thought better of waking Sophia up, but the moment passed quickly. I knocked quietly on the door and when there was no response I figured she was ignoring me and I didn't blame her for that. I knocked one more time and when she didn't answer I took a chance and opened the bedroom door and let myself in. After closing the door I crossed the room and sat down on the bed beside her.

"Why do you love me?," I asked quietly, resting my hand on her shoulder, knowing full well that she was awake.

Sophia rolled over and looked up at me. The way she was looking at me made me feel slightly uneasy. It felt like she was looking deep into my soul.

"What?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Why do you love me?" I asked her again.

She sat up in bed and placed her hand on my heart.

"Because of this," she said while looking at where her hand was on my chest, "Angel you have a heart of gold. When you love, you love fiercely and with your whole heart. You would lay down your life for those that mean the most to you. Your loyalty is unwavering. I could live without you in my life, but I just don't want to. My life wouldn't be the same without you, Angel."

Pushing the blankets aside, I watched as Sophia crawled into my lap and I sighed as she wrapped her legs around my waist. She rested one hand on my shoulder while her other hand moved through my hair. My breath got caught in my throat as I placed my hands on her hips and looked into her eyes,

"I'm so afraid to let you in, Sophia," I said honestly, "I'm afraid that once I let you in, you won't like who I really am. I've done some pretty horrible shit in my life. I'm surprised you didn't run in the other direction when you watched me kill Benny."

"Angel, I know what you're capable of," Sophia replied quietly, "I know you have done some unmentionable and unfathomable things, but I can promise you that it won't make me love you any less. Say the word and I'm yours, but if not, I have to move on. It hurts too much, Angel."

"Don't give up on me, Soph," he whispered, "I am so in love with you and I can't lose you."

"What?"

I looked at her curiously for a moment.

"What did you just say?" she asked again, "Tell me again..."

"I am in love with you, Sophia," I murmured as I trailed my hands up over her breasts, "I don't want to lose you."

She looked up at me with a fire in her eyes. I had seen that fire so many times before, but this time was different. For the first time, the panic I usually felt wasn't there and that was a relief. I finally had her and I was never going to let her go.

"I'm all in, if you are," she whispered.

"I'm all in," I replied.

I pulled the t-shirt over her head and threw it on the floor before pulling her close to me and kissing her deeply. I pressed myself against her, wanting her to feel what she was doing to me. Her legs wrapped around my waist tightly as she moved slowly against him, groaning in my ear. The little noises escaping from her were enough to drive me crazy. For months, years even, I had been so blind to the way I affected Sophia. The way I felt for her must have been lying just below the surface for years and I could no longer keep it bottled up.

Sophia undid my belt buckle and then undid the button and zipper on my jeans as her tongue caressed mine sensually. My breathing grew ragged as she wrapped her hand around me. Her hand was so warm and gentle and the sensations were incredible.

"Sophie..." I breathed against her mouth. I wrapped an arm around her waist to hold her against me as I maneuvered us so she was laying on the bed and I was on top of her. Her black hair splayed across the bed and her green eyes smoldered as she looked up at me. No woman had ever looked at me the way she did. It intimidated me and scared me, but I wasn't going to push her away this time.

"I love you," she whispered, "Always have, always will."

*****

Sophia's Point of View

The sun was shining through Angel's window when I opened my eyes the next morning and for a moment I forgot where I was. That was until I rolled on my back and saw Angel fast asleep on his side facing me. My mind drifted back to the night before and I smiled when I realized it hadn't been a dream. Last night was nothing like their first time together. Angel had been so attentive to her needs. He was gentle and he focused on every part of me. He made me feel special and beautiful. We had stayed up until the early hours and despite how tired I should have felt, it was entirely the opposite. I felt energized and truly happy.

I reached over and ran my index finger over the triangle tattoo in the middle of his chest before leaning in and pressing my lips against the warm skin of his chest. Angel let out a sleepy but playful growl and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me against his body. I giggled as he rubbed his beard against my face and neck. I had never really seen the playful and deliriously happy side of Angel before. It was a nice change.

"Good morning, beautiful," he mumbled into my hair, "How'd you sleep?"

"So good," I replied as I looked up into his eyes, "You?"

"Same." He leaned down and kissed my forehead and then he held me close.

I wondered what he was thinking about at that moment. 

"What are you thinking about?"

For a moment he didn't say anything and then he cleared his throat.

"I know I didn't make things easy on you, Soph," he said, "I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry for yo-yoing when it came to us. I wanted you and then I pushed you away and I wanted you again. It wasn't fair to you and it wasn't fair to EZ either."

"It was difficult at times," I said with a laugh, "but I forgive you."

"I hate to bring up the very large elephant in the room..." Angel stated, "but what happened with EZ last night? Did you two talk?"

I looked away from him for a moment as my intense kiss with EZ flashed in my mind. I felt so guilty. I knew, without realizing it back then, that I had led him on. I thought my feelings for Angel would go away if I just gave up trying to pursue him, but that wasn't the case. However, I wasn't the only one to blame. EZ knew what he was getting himself into when things heated up between us. He could have stopped it if he really wanted to, but he never did.

"We talked before I left the clubhouse," I replied, "It was difficult but it went well. It's obviously going to take some time, but everything will be ok."

"Good."

He smiled at me before rolling on top of me and running a hand through my hair. His eyes burned into mine and my stomach somersaulted as he trailed his fingers down the side of my cheek and down my body. He pressed his lips against mine, kissing me softly.

"Is there anything you want to do today?" I mumbled against his lips.

He barely nodded his head in response as he lifted his head and looked into my eyes. I smiled at him, waiting for his answer.

"You."