Shattered Singer

Chapter 25

Maxon POV:
I missed dinner time. The meeting went on much longer than anticipated. I was told everyone ate in their rooms. It's nearly midnight, but I promised America I'd se ever after the meeting. Even if it is just to say goodnight. Once I reached her door I knocked a few times. No answer. Is she asleep already? I opened the door a little and saw her laying down. Not asleep, on her phone. So I walked in. She looked up then looked back at the screen in front of her. I walked over to her bed and sat next to her. "Hello dear. I'm sorry I'm here so late. The meeting took longer than I thought it would."
"Okay. It's fine." She said. America didn't look happy, at all. Almost like she didn't care. She didn't even scold me for calling her dear. I'm not so idiotic as to think I'd make her jump with joy. Or change her mood, or anything like that really. But last time I was her she didn't want me to leave her side. "Are you alright?" I asked. She looked at me again and her eyes softened a little.
"I went to talk with Kriss earlier." She said keeping her face emotionless.
"How did that go?" She breathed heavily and closed her eyes. From her face I knew immediately it didn't go well. "She was upset. Which I expected of course. I apologized at first. She started off by saying that an apology wouldn't fix any thing. She talked about that for a moment, then she asked if we've slept together." My eyes widened America nodded her head, telling me she was also shocked.
"When I said no, she happily continued to say how you two constantly sleep together, and how you're good in bed. As well as the nosies you make. I'm the end I ended up saying we slept together during the selection and stormed off."
I was left completely shocked and a little confused. Although America telling Kriss about how we slept together during the selection is quite humorous. With what Kriss said she deserved to hear that. What's wrong with Kriss though? We don't do it. We don't even sleep in the same rooms. We've only slept with eachother 3 times. Our wedding night, once during our honeymoon, and when we were told we had to try for an heir.
"She lied. Last time we sleepy together was 2 months ago. Besides we've only done it 3 times. I've told you this." America sighed again. This time more relived.
"I know you have. But when Kriss said that it..... it made me crazy jealous. The thought of you two together, in that state. Just kills me. I love you Maxon, and the mention of you doing such intimate.. actions with another girl is unbearable to me." I can understand America perfectly. Any mention of her ex boyfriend, Zachery, makes my blood boil. I wanted to rip him apart that night in her dressing room. And again the night of the dinner. I know they had sexual relationships. For goodness gracious America thought she was pregnant. So it's a little unfair how she sees Kriss and I. We had to do it. It's not like we had much of a choice. We needed to have an heir. Her and her boyfriend did it for the soul purpose of pleasure. Because they wanted to. But I won't bring that up. It'll end up in a huge fight. Regardless of why, we both had sex with other people. I know how she feels so I don't want to make it worse. I just want to move on. 
"I understand America, no need to justify your thoughts and actions. I just want things to be clear about what happened. Kriss is lying because she's jealous."
"That's what Celeste said too." America said moving close to me.
"Well she does have her bright moments doesn't she." I said with a smirk playing on my lips. America gave me a playful smirk as well. "Yeah she does." After a few seconds she closed that gap between us with a small kiss. "I love you America."
"You don't know how much I've missed those words." She said giving me another kiss.
"I do." I said in between kisses. As the kiss went on, it got passionate. I couldn't help but remember my conversation with Kriss. The way she felt and the pain that was so evident I her. I pulled away and America pouted like a child. With flushed cheeks. I laughed a little. "We need to talk." My words sobered her up a little. "About?"
"What happened after the choosing. We need to talk about how we felt."
"We did this morning, when you bandaged my hand." She said waving her gazed hand in the air.
"But we need to start from the beginning."
"You're right. I guess I'll start. The day of your wedding was the worst day of my life. As you know I got really drunk. Up until then I had been really upset, but I hadn't started drinking. Anyways, the morning after I went looking for you. To tell you I love you and try to fix things. Instead I heard you and Kriss talking, you said I meant nothing, I was in the past, and you loved her. I was so broken I left. I fell into the worst depression. I started drinking, cutting myself, and really lost myself. I wasn't happy anymore. Everyone tried to make me feel better, nothing worked. The old me was gone. It was more than loosing a guy. It was loosing the love of my life. Not only that but I felt like I was unworthy, a useless girl. Soon my career took off. It was a blessing and a curse. I got everything. I helped my family, even if I was still an empty girl. News reports and interviewers brought you up. It hurt so much. I lied and said we didn't love eachother. And being watched by millions, and being in the spotlight is hard. People look up to you and except you to be a good role model. It's hard when you hate yourself though. I became obsessed with looking fit and skinny. In the industry you always need to look good. Always at the gym. Sometimes I wouldn't eat for days and only drink. I found comfort in drinking, it helped me forget. If I'm being honest in tough situations my body still craves it. I eventually stopped cutting myself, thanks to Zach. I never thought anyone else would care for me. I simply didn't think I deserve it. So when Zach came into my life, it was a miracle. Things might have ended badly but he cared and helped me. I'll always be grateful. I slowly started to get better, never did I fully recover. Thinking about it is a nightmare. I avoided royal new as best as I could. Items that reminded me of you hurt me. Strawberry tarts or anything strawberry, rain, chocolate, the color blue, dresses. It hurt me so much. Id cry myself to sleep, that hasn't really changed. I'm much better now. Truly."
I was speechless. Hearing everything made my heart ache. I thought I had it bad, but it was nothing compared to what America went through. Yes I was sad but I never hurt myself or put my health at risk. Mostly because the staff made sure of it but still.
"I'm so sorry—"
"— you don't need to be."
"Yes I do, I did this. You might have lied about Aspen but my temper put us both in hell. Most importantly you. So I owe you an apology. You didn't deserve to go through that." America smiled.
"I'm okay now, let's not worry about my past we can't change it, tell me your side."
I signed. What I felt doesn't even being to compare to what America went through.
"I was so sad. I thought about you all the time. Day and night. You were in my dreams. God how I missed you. When I walked through the hallways I missed your humming, your scent, your presence. Every time I saw Lucy, Ann or Mary I thought of you. Whenever we had strawberry tarts it reminded me of our bet and first date. Kriss doesn't wear blue often, but when she did I thought of you. Living in the place where I met you, had every single memory with you, was hell. Sometimes I wanted to go to your old room, but I didn't want to start conflict. Everyday I thought about my mistake and regretted it. I heard about your success and I was so proud of you. I thought about what our future could of been if I didn't mess up. There were so many days I didn't want to get out of bed, or do anything. Having to act like I was in love with Kriss was awful. I longed for you but I couldn't have you. I skipped meals with stupid excuses, wanting to be alone and think. I missed you so much. I know it doesn't even being to compare to what you went through. I will never forgive myself for that."
America put her hand on my face, smiling.
"Stop. We both went through hell in different ways. We are together now, let's enjoy it. I will never forget what I went through, and I know you won't either. I forgive you."
I smile at her words. America truly is an amazing person.
"Your incredible." America laughed and hugged me. I hugged her back tightly needing to feel her. Know she's here. Physically. This is real. Not a dream, she's really back. I lifted her face to look at me. "Do you remember that house I gave you for your family?"
America nodded. "I told you to give it to Kriss."
"You did. But I didn't give it to her. I didn't want to. I bought the house for you. Not Kriss. I didn't know if you'd ever come back but I kept it with the Singer name."
"Really!?" America said with her eyes gleaming. "Yes. Kriss doesn't get everything."
America smiled, remembering her letter. She pulled me into a kiss. I happily kissed her back. We could stay like this forever. We would have if no one knocked on the door. I pulled back and looked at America. She looked just as confused as I was. "I'll get it." I said. She moved over so I could get up. I walked over the door and swung it open. A maid stood on the other side. She quickly curtsied before speaking.
"Your majesty. I'm glad you're both here we need to inform you of something very serious." She looked very worried. "What is it." I asked. I heard America get up from the bed and make her way over here.
"Princess Kriss is in the hospital wing." I turned back to look at Ames and her jaw was dropped. "What happened to her??" She asked.
"The guards found her in her room,passed out with an empty bottle of pills in her hand." Oh my god. "Is she okay?" I asked keeping calm.
"I don't know I was sent to inform you immediately."
"Okay thank you for telling me, we'll be there soon." I said. She curtsied and left. turned back to America and her face was full of shock.
"Maxon. Kriss tried to kill herself because of me." She said guilefully. I pulled her into a hug, resting my head on hers. With my arms wrapped around her waist. "This isn't your fault. Nor is it mine." America held onto me tightly. As if she were afraid to let go.
"It is, It's my fault."

A/N ~ I hope you joyed today's chapter! Comment your favorite part!! Also go check out my other story 'Princess America'  if you haven't yet, 2043 words!!!!  Sorry I missed an update, I had finals this week. I'll try to update every week though.
Question of the day: Who's your least favorite character? Mines either Clarkson or Kriss.
Xoxo ~ Mrs. Schreave 💋