This time, the portal didn't launch him out in a tumbled mess to roll across the floor and land in a heap. He stumbled a bit, but kept his footing. He closed his eyes and rubbed his temples, and reviewed the conversation a few times. He kept getting stuck on his answer to why he had given his life for hers. Because it was the right thing to do. Why had he said that? That was not why he had done it. She was more deserving than him, and would certainly make more of her life than he had. Those were all good reasons. But they weren't the real reason.
"I'm an idiot."
Luke's chuckle informed him that he had not said that in his head as he intended. "You succeeded though?"
"Yes. I saw her. I spoke to her."
"And?"
"She's doing well."
"On Ahch-To?"
"Yes." He paused, working around the next words, shaping them so they didn't snag on their way out. "There's a man with her."
Luke's face shifted into an expression of rare sympathy. "I'm sorry. I really am, Ben. That's going to be the hardest part of this. Can you manage?"
Ben didn't know. A month ago he would have said no. The idea of it would have sickened him. To be honest, it still did a little. But now, he wasn't so sure. Her hands had passed straight through him. He couldn't touch her, and it was torture.
"I don't know what to do."
"Do the best you can. She's a smart girl. Trust her."
It's wasn't that he didn't trust Rey. She had been amazing during their conversation. It hadn't seemed like she treated him any differently without his physical form. How long before he said something he couldn't take back? Before he lost his temper and blurted something unforgivable out of jealousy?
"When will Yoda see her again?" said Ben.
"He doesn't share his plans with me, if that's what you're asking. He's been twice so far. It sounds like he's as forthcoming with her as he was with me."
"She mentioned that he doesn't answer her questions."
Luke snorted. "If Yoda's really interested in that Order continuing, he better start. It's going to take Rey a long time to learn using his usual methods. Did you teach her anything?"
"No. We didn't have much time."
We did have some time, though. I just couldn't pull myself together and stop staring at her.
"She's a live wire. You better figure out how to ground her before she hurts herself."
"How do you think she's using the light side to call Force Lightning?"
Ben had been puzzling through that since it happened in the Forbidden Desert of Pansino. Did it have something to do with the dyad bond? When working in tandem, they were unstoppable. His power expanded, feeding off of hers. Perhaps the same phenomenon happened when they pushed against each other. Whatever had happened, she had torn a ship apart with no apparent difficulty. And it was obvious then that she had no control whatsoever over the ability.
"Jedi used it in the past," said Luke. "But Jedi leaders didn't approve. They thought it would corrupt the user, push them toward the dark side."
"Like romantic relationships?"
"You're talking to me. I don't believe either of those things. If you want a canonical answer, ask Yoda. I won't defend either position. Neither do I believe the concern anything other than a scare tactic."
"I could never use the Lightning. Maybe there's a hereditary component?"
"Darth Vader used it. By your theory, you should also have had access."
"Good thing I didn't," Ben mumbled.
He had been deadly enough. Instead of Force Choking people, he would have electrocuted them. His tests in the portal would have been even worse.
"How did you project yourself in corporeal form on Crait? It was just like fighting you in person. Could I do that to help her?"
Luke scrubbed at his beard. "Maybe. I was alive then. The Force is essentially an endless well of possibility. You can use the Force in this ghost form. It's just harder. Also of note, that killed me."
"I can confidently face the risk of death."
"True," said Luke, completely missing the sarcasm.
Could he project himself from here? That seemed less likely than accessing the bond from here. These seemed to be the two most likely scenarios that would allow him to put his hands on her.
"Tell me about the man," said Luke.
"Silver helmet, silver armor. Pronged blade. Dangerous looking."
Luke smiled. "A Mandalorian?"
"I don't know. I've never seen a Mandalorian."
"No, I doubt you have. They probably avoided the First Order."
"Is he unsafe?" Ben prepared to go back into the portal and warn Rey.
"It's unlikely. And besides, Rey can hold her own. Trust her. But you don't have to worry about him being with her."
"Why's that?"
"They never take off their helmets."
Ben tried not to grin like a fool. Maybe he hadn't been mistaken about Rey. Maybe she was thinking about the usages of the bond for the same reason he was. If he could just touch her. He was going to drive himself mad fixating on this. How many times would he be able to see her before he couldn't stand it any more? This first meeting had been difficult. What would the tenth, or fiftieth be like?
He'd adjust, and so would she. If they couldn't figure anything else out, there wouldn't be a choice. It always seemed easier to suffer through less than ideal circumstances when you didn't have a choice.
Luke walked off, and Ben sat down. His body still felt tired when he exited the portal. The residue of the pain lingered from each test.
How had he accessed the dyad bond when alive? He couldn't remember. It seemed to just happen. It was likely it wasn't just action on his part that activated or sustained it. Rey didn't share any other insights with him, so he doubted she knew more than he did.
He practiced the old Jedi centering drills Luke had taught him as a child. Perhaps in the calm he would have enough distance to search for the bond inside of himself, if it was still there.
YOU ARE READING
Skywalker Rises
FanfictionA post-TROS fix fic. Ben & Rey's story after Episode IX. This story contains plenty of spoilers from Episode IX, and some from the Mandalorian. These are not my characters, world, or artwork.