Paper Thin (Jim Halpert/The Office Fanfiction)

Chapter Eleven

The Dundies start at 6:00. It's 5:30. Pam better still be here.

I knock and Pam opens the door, a sad look on her face.

"Oh. Hey," she says to me. She invites me in and I grab her hands.

"Pam. I know that you know about Jim and I. I'm sorry I didn't tell you but once I'm done you will understand," I say, looking her in the eye. We walk into her kitchen and I sit on a stool at her counter.

"Done with what?" she asks, a look of concern creeping in to replace the sadness.

"Sit down," I say gently. She sits on the stool next to me. "No one else knows this story except Jim. Please do not tell anyone."

"I won't tell anyone," she says. Her eyebrows furrow and she leans against the counter.

"Okay." I take a deep breath. "It all started when I met Christian."

The second I mention the incident with the stairs, Pam covers her mouth with her hands and starts to cry. As I continue telling her about the hospital and the gun, she reaches out to grab my hand. I tell her about the man at the motel who followed me and her eyes widen. Pam is a very good listener.

"I'm just scared that if Jim is involved with me, he could get hurt. I would never forgive myself. Besides, technically I'm still married and who knows if I can ever get a divorce. I don't want him stuck in a relationship with no future. He deserves better." My voice cracks and I start to cry. I continue through my tears. "That's why we've been keeping it a secret. I am literally on the run from a drunken maniac.  I'm so sorry I didn't tell you Pam." I am talking frantically now. This is only the second time I have ever told my story. The events in LA and afterward have been bouncing around my brain for nearly two months now. It is still very fresh.

Pam looks at me, wide eyed. "I would never tell anyone Rachel. I promise. I'll cover for you in any way that you need."

"But Pam, he has so many resources. He paid that man at the motel to search for me. He was a complete stranger. If someone shows up at the office looking for me-"

"I will take extra precaution. You can trust me. If anyone comes in looking for you, I'll make sure that they are there for the right reasons," she says. She pauses, looking at me. "You aren't going to leave Jim, are you?"

I think for a moment. Leaving Jim is the last thing that I want to do. He has made me happier than I have been my entire life. I am a hopeless romantic who finally has her prince charming.

"I don't know. I mean, he knew the risks when we decided to get together. But even having my best friend find out about us has sent me spiraling with worry. I don't know if I can keep doing this to Jim. Eventually he's going to grow tired of hiding and waiting. I know I am," I say. I have never thought about this before, but now that the words are out I can't help but realize how true they are. I'm so tired of hiding and waiting for someone to show up and take me.

"Rachel, he's willing to keep you a secret, lie to his friends and family, and possibly get his ass handed to him. He's willing to do all of that just to spend his time with you. He's a keeper, trust me. Don't let him go. With you, Jim, and I working together to protect you guys, I don't think this Christian guy stands a chance," Pam says. She hands me a tissue and squeezes my hand.

I nod. She's right. Jim is a keeper. It's time for me to finally trust him, even though it is so hard for me to do so after what Christian did to me. I don't want to let go of Jim. I want my current paper thin version of happiness to stay right where is it. I can't promise Jim a future, but I can love him with everything I have while I have him.