Miss Independent

31

Di ko na napigilan ang luha ko. We were both scared to confront my mom and yet humarap kami pareho sa kanya. And now, walang kwenta. My mom still got a hold of me and I don't even know what she will do to him.

Hindi ko na alam. I just wish my dad was here right now.

I remember the times we spent together
On those drives
We had a million questions
All about our lives
And when we got to New York
Everything felt right
I wish you were here with me
Tonight

Malamang after this night, hindi na kami magkita. Malamang after this night wala na. Pero ang hiling ko na lang siguro? Maging ligtas ka Kokoy. Yun lang.

I remember the days we spent together
Were not enough
And it used to feel like dreamin'
Except we always woke up
Never thought not having you
Here now would hurt so much

Nakakatakot but the two months we had were worth it. At least on those times nakaramdam ako ng saya. At least on those times, natuto akong maging tao, natuto akong dumepende sa iba kahit papaano.

Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
And know the stars are
Holdin' you, holdin' you, holdin' you tonight

Pumunta ako sa may bintana ng kwarto ko, gabi na. The stars are very visible tonight. They sparkle so bright. Kelan kaya ako magiging malaya sa lahat ng to. Sana naging bituin na lang ako.

I remember the time you told me about when you were eight
And all those things you said that night that just couldn't wait
I remember the car you were last seen in
And the games we would play
All the times we spilled our coffees
And stayed out way too late
I remember when you said and told me about your Jesus
And how not to look back even if no one believes us
When it hurt so bad sometimes
Not having you here...

"Nina... sunduin mo na ko... ayoko na. Pagod na pagod na kong intindihin si mama at si papa. Gusto ko nang sumaya. Sorry Nina ah? Naging tanga si ate. Pabaya ang ate mo. Sorry... kasalanan ko pagkamatay mo. Sorry Nina. Sana napatawad mo si ate"

Weird but I felt a cold breeze envelope me as if hugging me. Napahagulgol na lang ako sa nangyare

"Nina... sunduin mo na lang si ate please"

I sing,
"Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
And know the stars are
Holdin' you, holdin' you, holdin' you tonight"
I sing,
"Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
And know the stars are
Holdin' you, holdin' you, holdin' you tonight"

Funny how I felt like my sister was really here even when she's not. Napakalambing kasi niya. She always hugs me before. Like comforting me on everything lalo na kay mama.

She sees everything lalo na sa pagtrato ni mama saken but she never did the same. She loved me and respected me like a real ate.

"Nina... oras na ba? Pwede na ba ako magpahinga?? Pagod na pagod na si ate ehh. Ayoko na"

Nagulat naman ako when a notebook fell down my table.

What shocked me more was the words written on the opened page.

"Is this what you want to tell me Nina?"

LIVE... it's not the end yet