Trouble In Paradise- A Manstead Fanfic (COMPLETE)

Chapter 60- Let Me Go Back

Will POV:

"No, this can't be true, you're joking right?"

"I'm afraid not..."

But she was just here, I kissed her only four hours ago. This can't be happening, it's all a bad dream. I need to wake up, I need to go back to our perfect little paradise. I want to go back to when we were just a happy little family, with Natalie on her way to remission. She can't be gone, they all said she'd be okay. I told her she was going to be okay. I promised her she would be okay.

I slowly sink to my knees as tears start falling. How am I going to do this? I can't live my life without Nataie. She's my rock. She's the reason I get up in the morning. She's the reason I am who I am. I love her, I need her.

"Will... are you okay?" I hear Jay ask, emotion evident in his voice.

"I... I need to be alone." I mumble before standing up.

I need to see her,just one last time. I need to say goodbye, I need to tell her I love her. She needs to know I'll be the best dad I can possibly be. She needs to know I'll never let the kids forget about her. She needs to know that she will live on forever. That we will keep her memory alive.

I make my way to the OR she was in. I slowly open the door, making sure to stay out of site. I slip in the door and I see her. Lying peacefully on the table as if she was just sleeping. I walk over and notice the calm expression on her face. I pull a chair up next her and take her hand in mine. My breath gets caught in my throat as I feel her normally warm soft hand all cold and bony in my hand. I lean down and kiss her cold, blue lips.

"I love you Nat, the kids love you, we all love you so much. We'll never forget you, okay? I won't let anyone forget you. Don't worry about us, we'll be okay."

I give her one last kiss before slowly walking out. I turn around one last time and see her still lying there, as if she would wake up any moment and follow me out. But she won't. I slowly close the door and stand in the hallway, still watching her through the window. I'm not ready. I can't say goodbye yet.

At that moment a few nurses walk in, with a black bag in hand. I can't watch this, I can't let this be the last time I see her. I whisper goodbye and slowly walk away. As I walk back into the waiting room I see everyone still in their seats tears in their eyes. I sit down next to Jay and he grabs his hand in mine.

"Daddy! Where's momma and sissy?" I suddenly hear two kids scream.

I look up and theres Helen walking in, Zoe and Owen running towards me. I slowly stand up from my chair, wipe some tears from my face and crouch down in front of them. I look at their exicted faces trying to find the best way to tell them.

"Hey Helen, follow me, I need to talk to you." I hear Maggie say, trying to give me space.

"Daddy? What wrong?" Owen asks looking up at me obviously very confused.

"So you know how Mommy had to go into surgery to help your sister?"

"Yeah, is sissy okay?" Zoe asks.

"Your sister is okay, we'll know more soon." I reply, putting of telling them even longer.

"Is Mommy with her? Can we see her? MOMMY!!!" Zoe calls out, before starting to look for Natalie everywhere.

"No sweetie, Mommy isn't with your sister."

"Then where is she, did they finish the surgery?" Owen asks, obviously confused.

"No kiddo, they couldn't finish it. I... something went wrong. Mommy started bleeding a lot."

"Did Uncle Connor fix her?" Zoe asks, starting to catch on.

"No honey, he couldn't. No one could, Mommy was just to weak. She lost a lot of blood."

"Then where is Mommy?" Owen asks, as Zoe starts tearing up.

"Mommy's not here anymore. Mommy died." I say before tears escape.

Owen stands there before he completely breaks down. Zoe on the other hand curls into a ball on the floor, crying uncontrollably. This isn't fair. In her short life she's already dealt with so much. First both her biological parents dying, a horrible social worker, cancer, and just as things were looking up this happened. I wrap my arm around both of them, holding them as tight as I can. I'll never let them go.

"Mommy loved you both so much, okay? She'll always be with us, just not how she used to be. She's so proud of both of you, I promise."