Trouble In Paradise- A Manstead Fanfic (COMPLETE)

Chapter 48- Stay Strong

Natalie POV:

We've spent all day in the ED. Luckily Jay agreed to watch Zoe and Owen. I don't think they would've been able to handle it. I've had a spinal tab, an mri, an ultrasound, even a cat scan, and blood work done. They checked the baby, and luckily they were still healthy. Everything seemed fine, except for the fact that I still can't feel my legs.

Just as I start spiraling again, imagining what life would be like paralyzed I see both Sharon and Dr. Abrams walk in. Sharon walks over to the side of my bed and places her hand on my shoulder and squeezes it gently. Will sits on my other side and holds my hand, obviously fearing what was about to be revealed.

"Dr. Manning-" Dr. Abrams starts.

"Just call me Natalie, we've been working together for years Sam." I interrupt.

"Okay, Natalie, i have the results back and I wish I had better news. The cancer has metastasized to your spine, which is why your experiencing the sudden onset paralysis."

"Will the paralysis ever disappear?"

"As long as the tumor is there, no. The tumor is wrapped around your 12 lumbar vertebrae and is compressing your spinal cord."

"So, could we remove the tumor? Or can we do targeted radiation?" Will asks.

"The tumor, I'm afraid, is nearly inoperable. And we could try radiation but it may not work due to the severity of the tumor, and not to mention the affect it'd have on an unborn baby."

"So we could operate theoretically?" I ask trying to find anyway to remove this tumor.

"Maybe someone else could but I do not feel comfortable doing this. I'm sorry Natalie, I really am." He says before leaving the room.

"Sharon, there has to be another surgeon here who can do the surgery!"

"Natalie, I'm sorry, you and I both know Dr. Abrams is the best neurosurgeon here. And I do not want to see you go to another hospital." Sharon lightly scolds.

"So, this is it? I'm just going to be paralyzed for the rest of my life?" I say my voice raising slightly.

"Nat, it's okay, after the baby is here we can do the targeted radiation to see if it'll shrink it to an operable size." Will says trying to calm me down.

"But Will! There's no guarantee I'm going to survive long enough to actually give birth! I can't be a doctor or a mother if I'm paralyzed!" I cry.

"Natalie, of course you can still be a mother. There are plenty of women who are paralyzed and still have children. You will be a great mother."

"You don't get it Will! I'm going to miss out on so much if I'm stuck here or in a wheelchair. How will I live if I'm stuck. How will I live if I can't be independent!"

"Natalie, you can be independent. It may take some time to get used to it but you will be independent. You're strong, you can and will get through this. I know you can."

"No Will! I can't! This is the end! If I can't be a mother or a doctor there's no point in living!"

"Natalie. Look at me. You can and will still be a doctor. You are smart and capable and just because you can't walk doesn't mean you can't think. I have no intention of firing you, nor does anyone else. You will get better, and you will be a doctor again. So stop thinking all these negative thoughts and focus on the positive ones. Think of Owen and Zoe they don't want to see you in this state. So stay strong Natalie. If not for yourself, then be strong for them. They need you. Will needs you. This hospital needs you. So stay strong, and fight through this. Show everyone that you will not let cancer define you and your choices. You are so much more than your cancer." Sharon scolds.