Era, looking down with obvious distaste in her face: So...why are you fisting a jar of peanut butter?
Jar, clenched fist covered entirely in peanut butter fully in their mouth: *muffled* nUt crEAmY
---
America: so there's this guy...
Jae: it's Russia, isn't it?
America: tf how'd you guess?
Era: all due respect, even if you're pissed off or sad or absolutely out of your mind in love, it's always Russia
America: ......
---
Mexico, visibly shaking: I'm going to fucking crucify your skeleton
Chile, sipping a Pina colada and listening to Green Day: go ahead, pussy. You can't possibly upstage the play of horror that is my mind
---
Ritz: okay, let's do some team building exercises!
Jae: how bout I exercise putting my foot up your ass?
Col, lacking any emotion: boom.
*Jae slides Col a low five*
---
Dip: I wish everyone would stop being such little bitches and be fucking happy
Jae: *wipes a lone tear away* I'm so proud of my aggressively preppy daughter and her dedication to forcing her genocide-worthy need for good vibes on others
Era: you both need a mental institute and I'll pay for the treatment.
---
Belgium Cooks
Belgium: I made breakfast for you!
Netherlands: w-why would you write "go fuck yourself and lose weight" on my waffles in whip cream?
Belgium: .....
Netherlands: .....
Belgium: leave my fucking house, Dutchie
---
Belgium cooks part 2
Belgium: here you go! One mini chocolate marble cake to go!
Austria: why the fuck is it phallus shaped?
Belgium: because, from what I hear, you only eat dick
---
Belgium Cooks Part 3
North Korea: I'm going to order a crepe with chocolate drizzle, bananas and chocolate chips
Belgium: okay, anything else?
North Korea: yeah, uh, could you put some uhhh...chicken shit in it? *Whispering to himself*South Korea is gonna pay for that damn prank he pulled
Belgium, having not heard the last part: huh, well I guess you are what you eat, yeah?
---
Canada: Canadian people are the nicest, most docile people you'll ever meet!
Ukraine: you once told a pigeon to fuck a cactus when it scared you
America: Everytime we see a kid at the park, you always refer to them as "crotch goblins"
Mexico: you wrote an entire essay to Ryan Reynolds saying that you'd literally shit your pants and fuck a dog if he called you his friend
Canada: .....
Canada: ok, but you all can't deny that Ryan Reynolds is hot shit
____
A/N: Era belongs to small_sugarcube and Jae, Dip, and Ritz belong to me
