Call Out My Name

14

Lonnie pov

All the pride. All the air. All the happiness has left me. Feeling trapped in my former shell, I was left with no choice but to collapse into my old ways. Staying alone. It has become a chore to do the simpliest things, such as get up. Smiling is not permitted either. The one thing I had enjoyed, fashion, has now been over shined by the distrust of my sister and former crush.

Today is our off day and I haven't been out my hotel room. Not even to use the bathroom. I stayed in this one spot. Without bothering to touch my phone even with countless notifications. Feeling like this just made me resent people more. I know it's so much easier if I left the entire situation but my heart won't let me. This feeling of digustment I carried was over shadowed by the way he embraced me yesterday. Him hugging me showed that we were connected on a mental level of romance, not just a physical attraction. But that doesn't speak for his feelings towards Nelly.

Yesterday in front of the bus she explained to me a little on how they met each other. She went into further details about her feelings towards him and how things eventually played out. From her point of view it seems like her heart is really invested in August. Whether I want to admit it or not. However, he can't seem to decide who he wants. In his eyes I saw him contemplating between us and he shouldn't have to be put in a position where that's even an option. I've been reckoning with the idea of just letting him go to Nelly. She did have him first.

"Lonnie!!" I heard through the door. Knocks followed. "Lonnie I know you in here, Girl." It was August. I shot my head up from under my pillow. "Go away!!" I yelled. The last person I ever wanna see. "Lonnie, Baby open the door..." I waited. "I need to talk to you. Please."

I let out a loud sigh. If I open this door, what is to come. Will we drop to the floor in tears or into a pit of romance, making love on the floor? Part of me was frightened to do so, but the other half just had to, still controlled my his cadence. Even with my thoughts running crazy I still managed to open it. "Yes." I said blocking the entrance. "May I come in Lonnie?" He asked.

I moved to the side allowing him to enter. The whole time I was quiet and wouldn't dare to look at him. "Why you couping yourself in here? Everybody was worried." I shrugged my shoulders. "Nelly," My whole demeanor changed. Why mention her? "Wanted to come up here and check on you but she felt you wouldn't want to see her."

"She right." I spoke with an attitude. I mean that's common fucking sense.

"Listen Lonnie, I understand completely but that's still your sister."

"Okay? Your point?? And if you came in here to preach, I suggest you go ahead and get to stepping because it's all your fault."

"How is it completely my fault?? You acting like I knew y'all were related." He put his hands to his chest in a defensive manner.

"Because you knew... You knew I wanted you, just like you knew about that stupid ass bet!" I started to shake my head. "August why??" I took deep breath lowering my voice. "Why did you have to bring her here?"

"I didn't think you were coming back." He lowered his head. "Don't lie. All you had to do was come to me and apologize. I would have forgave you." Though crying on the inside, I managed to keep the tears from flowing down my reddened cheeks. However my voice did crack from the pressure. "Why did you really come here? What's really on your mind?" I sniffed back my emotions, taking a seat on the edge of my messy bed. I watched the wall as he shifted his weight before leaning against the stand in front of me.

"I uh... just wanted you to know that... when I made that bet, I had no real intentions on hurting you. I just wasn't planing on actually getting attached to you. And I've been came to the conclusion that I much rather have you around me than you be gone."

"August, let's be real for a moment. I appreciate you trying to spear my feelings in this moment but how can you not think doing something like that wouldn't hurt my me."

"I get that but I wasn't expecting you to ever find out."

"Oh wow! That makes a big difference!" I yelled sarcastically.

"No, what I meant was I wasn't expecting to ever find out because essentially the bet was forgotten. I was so caught up in the fact you were misguiding." I listened as he explained himself but the last part didn't make any sense to me.

"Misguiding?? How am I misguiding??" A confused look was plastered all over my face. "I was always honest with you in a business aspect."

"Lonnie, you are one of the few chicks to ever make me work for it, and even still I haven't gotten any real sexual gratification out of you but yet you keep me intrigued. For a man that means something significant. If the thought of a woman can make you vulnerable in any kind of way then she has a hold on you. She means something more. You... You mean something more than the rest."

He looked away as if he was ashamed. Us both letting out a sigh. I suddenly spoke, "We're getting no where." He looked back at me. "What you mean Lonnie?"

"August, we both know that it's each other that we really want and that we're not gonna be satisfied until we are together. Now it don't necessarily mean it's a relationship but we both have a desire for one another." I stopped for a brief second, to collect all my thoughts. I wanted this to be the last time this particular conversation was had. "But instead we keep causing set backs for one another."

"Lonnie,"

"Wait, I'm not finished. See I tried everything I could to get over this and just leave you be but I can't. I'm not gone sit here either professing love for you if I'm not even sure that is being together is what I want to do. And you having history with Nelly makes it even harder but I can't be mad at no one for that. Overall I guess what I'm trying to say is, can we just start over?"

As the room slowly became hot in the silence, I noticed His eyes became glossy. Even his posture had changed. Feeling his sensual energy fill the air with passion, I felt myself ease the wall I built down. August looked me up and down before beginning to approach me on the bed. I watched not daring to move my eyes away from him. 'You are so sexy' I thought to myself. Though he was clenching his jaw I knew it wasn't out of anger. It was almost if he was using his strength to hold back on whatever was driving him. I became lose. All fears and oppression went out the window following my pride. It didn't even feel wrong either. Everything from his fragrance to the lighting was just perfect. I held my breath as we were face to face. Not really knowing what to expect I closed my eyes. At first I believed it was my imagination as I felt his warm wet lips collide with mine. The slow tongue motions he preformed on my bottom lip letter me know the whole ordeal was real. I shyed away a little because I never really kissed anyone before so I was slightly nervous but August quickly put his hand on my neck pulling me back upright and making the kiss reach new depths. I began to moan as he crept his way to the other side my neck with his lips leaving small traces of his tongue. The pleasure was so unbearable that I grabbed at his body hoping he would ease up but it did no good. He began slowly biting small areas as he kissed my spot causing my body to have an outbreak of mid tone screams. Him sliding his hand in my robe gripping my breast sent signals over my body like wild fire. I did not want this to ever end. No man has ever touched me in this way. I was not accustomed to the pleasures of sex but I was ready for it as long as it was him whom I was having it with....

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