I've been verbally abused my whole life and I didn't notice till now.
You're probably wondering how I never noticed?
How come it took me this long to figure it out?
And that's because I thought it was normal.
Siblings are supposed to fight
and siblings are supposed to criticize each other.
But are they supposed to make you feel worthless?
Are they supposed to make you feel not safe in your own home,
In your school,
In your own skin?
Tell me,
are siblings supposed to make you feel like this?
'Cause I feel like this all the time.
All the goddamn time
and it's tearing me apart.
...
I thought I was strong.
I thought I could face them.
But my words mean nothing when I try to fight back.
nothing.
They tell me I'm skinny and I need to eat more
but then when I try to eat
they take it away from me and tell me I'm fat.
They tease me for what I eat because I like to eat it.
They teased me for eating ham
So I stopped eating it.
So the the teasing would stop,
but it didn't.
It's been 5 years
and I've never touched a single piece of ham since.
They teased me for eating cereal.
So I stopped eating it.
Cause I figured the teasing would stop
but it never did.
1 year and the teasing still kept going
so, 2 years.
And it still didn't stop.
3 years.
It finally stopped but I still hear the whispers in my ear.
They gave me restrictions and took control.
I'm vegetarian now.
I don't eat meat.
I still don't eat ham.
But I occasionally have cereal.
Those their voices are still echoing around in my head.
They threaten me cause they know that even if I did try to tell anyone
The people I tell wouldn't believe me
Because my siblings is such a perfect roll-model
Everyone likes them.
And nobody likes me.
They'll take her word over mine.
My sibling has already taken control.
Control over my life and control over all the choices that I make in it.
And it's frustrating.
Because somehow I still feel like this is all my fault.
~k.w.a.v
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If you comment on this.
There's a chance that I might not answer.
I'll look at it but I might not say anything back 'cause I don't know what to say.
So if you comment. Sorry if I don't reply ^^^
YOU ARE READING
~Unspoken mess~
PoezjaI write poems/poetry and just some thoughts that I have. I hope you enjoy them or feel emotions though them. .. My emotions are always all over the place. So you might read some poems that are really happy but then right after you might read one t...
