lost souls ➢ a.i

Michael

I just stared as she eat. Sounds pretty creepy. But, I can't help but remind myself about everything that had happened in the past.

If only we didn't have that fight. If only I didn't tell her to leave. If only I know that this was what gonna happen, I would tell myself to just calm the fuck down that time.

She was such a precious girl in my life. Now that I've lost her, she's gone. Dammit Michael. Such a good time to remember such things.

She's no longer more my little princess misty. She's Melyssa, the insecure girl, who used to be so brave. I missed her. The Melyssa. The one who said "Be yourself so you'll be loved by your own real self."

She's the reason I didn't feel ugly. I didn't feel bad about myself. Michael Clifford. The Michael Clifford now. She changed me from a gloomy guy into who I am now.

Yet still, I'm the reason she left. The brave girl left. The courageous girl gone. Most beloved girl I've ever had, no longer more here with me.

She smiled, delighted by the way the food tasted. Her smile could give the whole world a new sun, I swear. If only I could still be the one to make her smile.

"Hey Mikey?" She sounded.

"Yeah?"

"You're not eating?" She said, or asked. I don't know. Either is the same.

"You wanna give me some of yours? Then I'll eat anything you feed me." I laughed.

She smiled, and thought I was serious, which made me get a little shocked when she actually spoon feed me.

"How is it?" She asked. God, her voice could make me melt I promise.

"It's good." And I wasn't even lying, the spaghetti was really good.

And I finally started talking. When she appeared in front of me the other day, my mouth opens up and give out a somewhat filthy word. Fuck, that's Melyssa.

Yeah, not a good thing. Anyway, the thing is, I haven't been really talking since I've lost her. Kinda stupid but that's the truth.

"Lyssa!" Luke shouted. Way to go Luke. You just destroyed the whole scene. Yay.

"Yeah? Luke?" She stood up and ran over to her beloved brother called Luke. AKA my best mate.

I know I shouldn't be jealous, but guess what? I'm already head over heels for this damn girl who shut down my whole life and turned it back on. Surely I'm jealous.

I got up and went over to my own room and grabbed my guitar. The song written by Ashton was there, on the drums. And I did help a little.

"Tonight we're fading fast,
I just wanna make this last.
If I could, say the things that I wanna say,
I'd make a way to make you stay,
I wouldn't let you get away,
Catch you in all the games we play."

Love song.

I strummed my guitar and slowly hummed through the lyrics.

Though that the song wasn't done yet, I'm still playing the whole song.

And maybe added a few more verse for the song, until it's complete.

"So go ahead rip my heart out,
Show me what love's all about.
Go ahead rip my heart out,
That's what love's all about.

Oh oh oh
Oh oh oh."

"Nice song." Tanya came in, her mascara ruined.

"Thanks. Um, it's Ashton's and I kinda helped. So, decided to finish it today."

"Oh, have you seen Ashton, he's been drunk for today. Easily said, since the day they came." She sobbed.

To be honest, Tanya is a pretty girl. Even though I hate her slutty self. If only she had some nice clothes and nice attitude, maybe then I'll call her an angel.

"Oh." I whispered. There's nothing to do between them and me. So I better not be a busy body.

"He actually likes that girl. I don't know what's so special about her." She wiped away her stained eyes.

"Tanya, whoever that girl is, you need to be patient. I don't wanna get involved into this whole dramatic relationship of yours but, this time, I want to. Maybe she's nice and have nicer attitude than you. So, all you have to do is change. No offense but, rather than knowing you, you're such a bitch. Be someone Ashton can love. Be the Tanya Ashton used to know. Then, maybe he'll stop being a dickhead." That's a long advice.

"Jesus. Thanks for the advice. And thanks for telling me a that I'm a bitch." She scoffed, before laughing . I laughed.

"You know Tanya, I thought you were the bitch I thought you were. But I guess maybe that wasn't quite right. Yes, I do hear banging against the wall like every night but, maybe you're just doing it to show them how much you love them. I don't know. But the thing I'm trying to say is that, maybe there's a lot more guys out there who would love you. Not that I'm telling you to break up but, maybe Ashton wasn't the one."

See who's talking? The Clifford guy who was all upside down when he mentally think he killed his girlfriend.

That hit me. I never broke up with Melyssa. Which means, I am still her boyfriend. Though her mind was wiped off. She couldn't remember me. Or Luke. Or even her parents death when she was still 3.

"Thanks." Tanya smiled. She stood up, to maybe get out from my sight. "Oh, by the way, good luck for Melyssa. She's not an easy one. And most of the guys like her. So, good luck." She chuckled. And walked out.

It's that obvious? Dammit Michael Clifford.

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