Love Moderately

10/27/2014 - Monday - 10:08 PM

So I don't think I can be friends with Aaron anymore. Like he is literally annoying the crap out of me. Maybe I just didn't realize it until now. Whatever.

Anyway I have a new friend Kevon, but it turns out she's being a bitch to Dasha. And I can't tolerate that. Dasha is my bae. Like no, you can't tell my bae since 4th grade to back off. There is enough Lina for everybody. God that sounds nasty.

So I think my crush on Maddox is getting smaller. Last time I checked, he's dating someone, but today I saw a girl sitting on his desk and he was sitting on the desk too. It was also dark and we were watching YouTube videos in class. I don't like people who aren't loyal. I don't like people who lie to me either. Like if you've got a problem with me or hate me, then tell me. Don't leave me looking stupid.

I kinda wanna just scream at Ryan and be like, "SO IS THAT A NO OR YES?" He never really said no or yes, and I'm confused. Like sometimes he's looking at me, and other times he's running away. What's the worst I could do, stalk you? You already think that. I'm not going to collect his DNA. I already had chances were I could do that. Like the time he used my phone on the bus in 7th grade because it was Friday and he forgot his instrument at school. What? I remember everything, blame my parents for raising such a smart child. But I really screwed things up with Ryan. It's too late now. I should just kill myself, get this pain over with. I mean, I could grow up into a successful person but that sounds like so much work. Okay I'm going to stop acting suicidal before I really start contemplating it.

So Ryan will never like me, yay I will die an old lady with 69 cats. And all the people that do like me are too ugly.

Speaking of people who like me, the list isn't done yet. So my list of people who've had a crush on me is Lenni, Aaron, and Ian. Who's Ian, you ask? I will tell you right now because I have nothing better to do.

Okay so there's this guy named Ian who was in my 7th grade language arts. He sat near me and we would do group projects together with a couple other people. So one day we were discussing our proejct and he was zoning out and looking around the room. Suddenly he started reading some familiar words... words I had written into my diary. Because stupid little 7th grade Lina brought her diary to school to update with Sonja and the diary was flipped open to the last entry... WHERE I TALK ABOUT MY CRUSH ON RYAN.

So he found out that I like Ryan and it was awkward haha. He was saying stuff like I shouldn't like him, it's not a good idea, etc. But nothing else really happened with him that year. 8th grade however, was different. He was in my math and language arts class, but we mostly talked in my math class, on the rare occasions that we talked. So once we went to the computer lab to work on an online math site, and he ended up sitting next to me. Then he tried to talk me out of liking Ryan again, saying Ryan isn't good, blah blah blah. So obviously I started thinking that he likes me, because what other guy would do that? Well Aaron did too, but it turned out he likes me too, soooo....

Anyway Ian was in Ryan's 5th period social studies class in 8th grade, and Ryan would talk about how creepy I was or whatever in that class and my friends would tell me about it, especially Mr. Henrich. I think Mr. Henrich was like really into who likes who and stuff like that because he always knew what's up and stuff, it was scary. He is literally like a level 10 stalker, while I'm at a measly level 1. I'm saying this because Mr. Henrich found my twitter and followed me. Is that even legal? I don't know.

Anyway back to the point Ian would always hear stuff from Ryan then ask me about it in math. Of course I explained everything because I hate lying unless it's to teachers. And like that one quote, "The truth will set you free" I just googled that and it's apparently a quote from the Bible. Well I like that quote. So Ian was always interested in everything and stuff. And sometimes I caught him looking at me. Especially this year, in science, sometimes he's just staring at me, and I can feel it. Then I just glance around the room so that he tries to hide it and goes back to his work.

Haha a really big indicator that he has a crush on me is that on the first day of school this year, I wore a really cute dress, and in science we had to go around the room and introduce ourselves, and I had to "introduce" myself to Ian. And he was really nervous sounding... do you get it? Like I was dressing pretty so he was nervous? Even though I've talked to him normally before? So that's a huge indicator. But obviously I don't like him so too bad for him.

Yeah. I honestly think the only person I really like is Ryan. All the other guys that I think are cute (Maddox and John from math), I think that's just caused by hormones.

Anyway it's almost 1 AM I got distracted when writing this by Sonja because I was skyping her... and I was skyping Dasha too before Sonja. K good night.

OOOOOOH BTW I added a cast, now you can kinda have an image of what we looked like, I really need to find a different actor for the guys though...