Love Moderately

10/14/2014 - Tuesday - 9:41 PM

So guys, I'm so dissapointed in myself. I haven't updated in almost two weeks.... It's okay, I'll give you a long update to make up for it.

So I got a my birthday present 2 months early, and it's a Windows 8 laptop. It's pretty awesome. It's officially my own laptop so I can do whatever I want, whenever I want. Like read Wattpad or watch Attack on Titan.

ATTACK ON TITAN OMG THERE ARE FAN PEOPLE AT MY SCHOOL AHHHHH! I saw 2 people with AoT shirts, and then there's a guy named Mason who wears his AoT sweatshirt like 3 days a week. So yay!

Lol. I'm watching Totally Spies, there was a new season made last year. I watched all these episodes when I was little, and now I'm practically reliving that. I've always wanted to be a spy, so this is practically my show.

So you guys probably want an update about my non existance romance. K, soooo. Maddox and I talk practically everyday, ESPECIALLY ON WEDNESDAY. On Wednesday, we had a lock down drill which actually turned out to be a drug search through the entire school. It was during 1st period, and it took an hour.... And you know what my 1st period is...? Gym with Maddox. So we sat around in a corner and just waited for it to be over. And knowing Sonja, she got closer and closer to Maddox, and I had to follow her, so we sat and started talking with Maddox, it was fun. Bonding time with Liddox! At least it's what Sonja had decided to call Maddox and I's ship.

Nothing has happened between Ryan and I. As usual. Like, that shouldn't even be surprising anymore. He's too scared to talk to me because he thinks I'm a stalker, and I'm too scared to talk to him because I'm socially awkward.

Sooooo Aaron finally decided to talk to me. Today. It sucked. He was like, you know right? And I'm like yeah, but I don't like you like that. Then at first he was kinda accepting it but then he just got some confidence and he was like, but whyyyy, we can try it out, and I'm just like no. I can't. I really can't. He's practically my brother, and it would feel like incest if we dated, omg. And I can just tell that he's not the one. So I don't want to date him. I'm going to go through life dating the least amount of people I possibly can. I'm not going to date someone just for fun. But I did feel like a bitch because like, I practically crushed Aaron's dream. Since 6th grade. I mean, I kinda have gotten over Ryan now, I think I like Maddox too much now, but like, obviously I was able to get over Ryan (not completely sure yet, because I still kinda like him but I'll admit I like Maddox more now), so Aaron should be able to get over me. There's nothing special about me anyway. I'm just an ugly Asian girl who is smart but procrastinates a lot and loves to sing but really can't. And I'm nice to strangers and mean to my friends, but there's times when I'm a complete bitch.

So I'm just thinking of all my imperfections and wondered why Aaron would even like me. So I asked Sonja and she said that Aaron likes my great, funny personality. What kind of half-assed answer is that? Bish, that is so not me I think he mixed me up with someone else. I wish he did. I feel like a bitch for turning him down but I don't like him, and that would be disrespecting myself. People don't know this, but I'm actually very selfish. I just tend to be nice to people I like. Like I would put myself before others, unless it's Sonja or Dasha, or one of my other friends. Obviously not Jillian and probably not Debi, I don't know why but she's getting on my nerves lately. I think she's taking the whole anime thing too far. I mean, sure there's some anime out there that's really good, but I don't watch everything.

So there's that. And also today in the gym with Maddox.... UGHHH WHY DO I HAVE TO BE SO SOCIALLY AWKWARD!?!?!? So today in gym, we were in the weight room, and my friends and I were lifting weights. We were at that station for a long time that the teacher noticed and called us out on it, by saying that we've mastered curling, so we should go somewhere else.. So then Maddox walks over and he grabs one of the 10 pound weights, and he's like, have you mastered this, and then he starts lifting it, and I mumble uhhh noo. And it was awkward because I'm just socially awkward like that. And then he was like, hey one of you followed me on Instagram, which was me, but he was staring at me the whole time so it's obvious that he remembers it's me. So I say, uhh yeah, that was me. And of course my cheeks start heating up because he's still lifting those weights looking like a freaking Greek God and FUCK KAY IM SOOOOO SOCIALLY AKWARD..... So I could feel my cheeks getting warm and I think he didn't hear me the first time I answered the "have you mastered the 10 pound one" and I again mumble noo. And then he walks off because off to his friends and my friends and I walked over to one of the machines.

OH MY GOD THOUGH I THINK I'VE REALIZED WHY I THINK DEBI IS ANNOYING!! It"s because she always accidentally says Maddox out loud when we're talking about him. Stupid, she came up with the codename I use for him. Oh by the way I don't know if I"ve ever said this, but we use codenames for people. Like Ryan is nayr, Sean is naes, Hannah is haha (because Hannah is still Hannah backwards), Maddox is xnae (that's because his name is weird backwards... Xoddam? what the crap. it sounds too obvious) and that's practically it. Oh wait Noah is haon. But who's Noah, you ask? I'll get to that later.

Anyway so Debi keeps on saying his name too loud and like, she's also talking about him too loud and it's annoying the crap out of me right now. Anyway so after that awkward moment was over, we went to another machine and started talking, and I asked them, did my cheeks get red and then Sonja starts laughing and she was like, yeah but it was funny. Wow thanks dude, that helps. I need to learn to control my facial expressions. Anyway and Debi replied with something that was WAYY TOO LOUD and I'm going to have to make a rule about it. Like Debi is not allowed to talk about xnae unless it's on kik. So there's that.

Oh wait I just forgot... the main reason I told you this was because, ehhhem, HE WAS FLIRTING WITH ME!!! Right? RIght? That's what flirting is, right? Sorry, I'm just too ugly and socially awkward to be flirted with so I don't really know what that's like... Or maybe I just don't notice it... Well good thing I had Sonja there to call it out and be like, HE WAS SOO FLIRTING WITH YOU. I don't know why'd he want to though, I'm so ugly lol.

SO. THIS IS THE MOMENT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR. THE CUTEST SHIP EVER AWARD GOES TOOOOOOOO: DOAHHHH. SO Doah is Dasha and Noah and I don't remember if I've talked about his before but lemme repeat it I don't care. Anyway they have a class together this year and Dasha has been literally crushing over Noah since 4th grade. So she was obviously excited. And like, Noah finally realized how funny she is and now he's falling for her it's literally soo cute. Dasha unintentionally cusses in that class because she has no filter, and usually it's something funny like, "Shut the fuck up bitch" and it literally makes her whole class laugh,especially Noah.

They are literally so cute, once they skipped class together and sat in the hallway and talked for 20 minutes... And one time Dasha got cold in class and the guy next to her offered his sweatshirt, but Noah was like, hell no, and then he hugged Dasha until she was warm. ADORABLE MUCHHHH?????

They're going to go on their first date in 2 weeks at the local amusement park. It's going to be fucking awesome. I should secretly go and stalk them haha. But no, I'll just force everything out of Dasha the next day.

But literally Dasha is being stupid right now, and she always says, Noah doesn't like me though, he's just being nice. Haha NO. The fuck? Noah's being obvious about how he likes, just like Aaron was so obvious that he liked me. Fuck. Now I feel all depressed again. Anyway Dasha is being a bish about it. Even a blind person could probably see the love forming between them (no offense if that offended you).

So like, homecoming was last weekend but I didn't go because homecoming is stupid. There's no point in going unless you're an upperclassman. So yeah I didn't go.

Oh today was our first chorus concert. I got to hear all the upperclassmen sing, and let me tell you, they are GOOOOOOD. The concert was even televised on the local cable channel, whatever that is. So we got to get extra credit if we stayed for the whole concert and fill out a paper about what we heard in the performances. Yay extra credit even though I have a 98% in that class. But with final exams next week, you never know when you need extra credit.

OKay anyway I typed a lot and should probably sleep, I also need to check my grades, k bye. Before I go though, I'd just like to mention that I have 1028 reads on this book.... Haha it's probably just all my friends re-reading this. But if you are a totally random reader, I'd appreciate it a lot if you give me a vote on this chapter, teehee. Thanks!