𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐓 / 𝐌𝐔𝐋𝐓𝐈

deux

-- -- -- Jahseh Onfroy -- -- --

the studio was empty, the way i preferred it. too many people stunted my creativity and i hated that. i didn't need people around anyway, i'd gotten this far on my own, so i would say i was doing fine.

i opened up twitter, the only app that i actually liked. the people were real and wouldn't hesitate hurting a niggas feelings if need be. i scrolled without liking shit. it was all bull shit anyway: relatable sad shit, reused shit that surfaces at least once a week, dumb memes.

eventually i drafted my own tweet.

fuckface
@guccikisses ;
bein alone, feelin alone? whats the fuckin difference?

i locked my phone and began to write. one of anneka's songs was playing from a playlist of music i wanted to sample. her voice was beautiful and sounded effortless. it flowed smoothly through my ears straight to my desolate soul, sparking inspiration somewhere within me. i really fucked with her.

{ i will never change, i will never break

yeah, yeah

don't wanna be alone

please, i don't wanna be alone

please, i don't wanna be alone

please, i don't wanna be alone

yeah }

being alone wasn't the same as feeling alone, i knew that. but somehow the line between the two blurred. i always felt alone even when i was hanging out with my homies. no one really understood the way my mind worked or the love i required.

being alone magnified my feelings of loneliness. the longer i was by myself the more i felt as though i were truly the only person in the world. the shit made me sad, especially since i knew i wasn't the only person in the world.

i think it's better being the only person in the world and being like 'damn this shit sucks' versus being one of millions and still feeling alone. at that point its like no one gives a fuck about you, it's like they don't even see you... at least thats how i feel.

liked by fuckjahseh and 500 others
r1pb3ttywh1t3 // at this point im not even tryna live, fuck is the purpose, deaths inevitable we all gone die... its all bs
{comments}
fuckjahseh stop bein a pussy you good vro
>> iceberglettuce you dont need to be a prick on the internet bro move along pls

i almost laughed. the person clearly ain't know it was my page. i was bullying myself, so the shit didn't matter. i responded shaking my head.

>> fuckjahseh you must be new here, this my page bro lmao how tf you get on here anyway?
>> iceberglettuce oh!! and dont know actually.. probably recommended by insta who knows.

i locked my phone and went back to writing. i had a tape dropping soon and i didn't have much finished for it so i needed to focus.

90210marley followed fuckjahseh 3 hours ago

{a/n: the song in the chapter is called I'mAloneI'mSorryCinthia i believe but if that's wrong i'll fix it :) }