Uncertain Thoughts.

Vague Pretence.

Pretending to be okay can be excruciating. Sometimes we can not explain what is going on inside our heads so instead of talking to someone about what is bothering us we chose to bottle up our emotions. You chose to put yourself in situations that you know you cant deal with. Why? because you have HOPE. That single ray of hope can be so self-destructive sometimes. You see things falling apart but you have "hope" that things will be okay, that YOU will be okay. Keeping hope is perilous, sometimes it saves you and sometimes it destroys you. Letting go is hard because when you're finally on the verge of letting it go you still have hope, that things might go back to how they were.

You thought you ALMOST made it, didn't you? You ALMOST had it all, didn't you? Now you have bizarre feelings within you that don't seem to leave your head anytime soon. The fear of not being enough for someone who means or rather meant a lot to you still haunts you, doesn't it? It's okay. Trust me it is, you might feel that your whole world is falling right in front of you but it'll be fine soon. give it time, give yourself time. Everything happens for a reason after all. We are perplexed of what is happening with us and we don't seem to figure it out anytime soon and that okay. It's alright to not be fine on your own. It's okay to fail repeatedly even if you feel miserable and hopeless, you don't give up. You try again because life is all about second chances and you know you're worth it.

Being uncertain about your thoughts is better than making hasty decisions that you are likely to regret in the future. Deep down you know what you desire. In my opinion, most of us desire the love that we fail to get. We expect a lot from everyone being oblivion to the fact that expectations hurt. The "perfect" love does not exist. Things fall apart and you can't do anything about it. Feelings come and go and you really don't know if the person you love wakes up the next morning and doesn't feel the same way. It sucks a hell lot when that someone who meant a hell lot to you feels that he/she "wasted" their time on you. That feeling shatters your heart into a million pieces and It hurts because we CARE and chose to care. Always. After everything that we have been through we still care and there is no explanation for it. Being heartless and cold is definitely painless and simple but pretending to not care is not cool because maybe the person who you actually care for might think you don't and sooner or later you may lose him/her. Pretending is not cool. Period. Being 2 faced is not something you should be proud of, be who you are and convey what you truly feel. Its time you chose yourself over everyone else. I've always believed that it's better to be the one hurting rather than hurting others and I think its time that changes. This time, let's be genuinely happy. no more pretending.