Walking on a Tightrope

Chapter 2

I haven't even been his girlfriend for 24 hours yet and everybody knows. I am really starting to re-think this whole plan, it is unnaturally exhausting to be his 'girlfriend'. But I made this deal for a reason. I am suddenly lost in my thoughts about how disappointed in myself I am for being gay. Then I hear someone say "Uh, earth to Blake?". I am snapped back into reality, and I stutter to say "Yeah I'm here, sorry". I poke at my food, I'm not that hungry anymore... I talk to my friends about whatever they want to talk about, and avoid zoning out. It's a decent lunch break, not much of a break from the torture of being the most popular guy in school's girlfriend. I find myself zoning off into my thoughts as I usually do, but then I hear banging. 

The voice yells, "What the hell do you think you are doing stealing my boyfriend! Do you know who I am?" I scoff at her audacity. I manage to reply calmly but with clear venom behind the words ; "Well he isn't your boyfriend anymore, bitch. So wake up and smell the roses because if you think that just because your dad is the principal you won't have consequences then you have a very rude awakening. Now stop bothering me and go look for someone else to mess with." The look on her face is priceless. She looks mortified, she has clearly always been loved. Loudly and sternly, she replies by saying "What the fuck do you think you just said?"

 I roll my eyes and say, "Oh you heard me, now pull your head out of your ass and get moving.". She leaves, and thankfully the lunchroom is so big and noisy no administration heard me. My friends look at me, their mouths wide open with clear surprise and dissapointment. I roll my eyes and throw my un-eaten food away then head to my next class. I know I was a bit of a bitch but she needed somebody to say it to her. At this point I hate myself so much that I really don't care what anyone thinks of me. Thankfully everyone avoids me the rest of the day, and anytime I see her she just gives me a glare that looks like she is planning something. It's quite interesting, but definitely entertaining.

Finally the torturous day ends and I go to walk home, but that's when Tucker stops me, yet again. "If you want people to think we're really together, let me drive you home." I almost decline until I realize how dedicated I am to making this ruse work. I'd do anything to hold out my lie for the last few months of high school. Without argument I climb into the car. Once he pulls onto the main road he laughs and says "You destroyed Jessica today. Literally everyone is talking about it". I roll my eyes before saying "Is that good or bad?" he responds "Depends, were you trying to get the whole school against you?" I glare at him then punch him in the arm lightly and playfully before saying "Fuck you. I don't give a shit what anyone thinks about me , plus she really needed to hear it". He laughs and after another 8 or so minutes of playful banter he pulls into my driveway. Tucker says "Hey I'll pick you up tomorrow around 8. Don't get into too much trouble, alright?" I nod and laugh then walk inside. My mother greets me, and after exchanging pleasantries and asking about my homework she surprises me by asking "How are you thinking about spending your spring break?" Shit. I forgot spring break is coming up soon. I come up with an answer as quick as I can and reply "I'll probably just stay at home, I don't really know, breaks aren't my thing" My mother responds, saying "Actually I was thinking we would send you to a week long day camp. I have a friend who sent her kids to this surf camp last summer and they loved it. This would be a wonderful opportunity to make friends, maybe even a boyfriend." she says in a suggesting tone.

Crap. I don't know what to think or feel so I respond with a light nod. It better be a damn good camp if I'm going to be in hell. With happiness clear in her voice she says "So is it settled, are you going?" A week long camp at the beach sounds like  a perfect chance to get out of my head for a bit, maybe I'll ask Tucker to come. I answer her question by asking "Can I bring a friend?". I'm not sure I even want to bring him, I just feel like we both would support each other with the similarities we share and this is definitely a time I need support. I still haven't forgiven him for everything that happened last year, but it needs to be water under the bridge now because of our... Deal. "Of course honey, now go get your homework done and do your chores!" she says reminding me again. "Ok, it'll all be done soon" I head to my room and think about what my mom signed me up for. I can't believe I agreed. This week is the last school week before spring break so I had one week to prepare for it. I text Tucker asking if he wanted to join me, and of course he said yes. He is always looking for ways to make our relationship believable even only after a few days. I begin my homework but my mind doesn't stop thinking about the upcoming camp, and what might happen. I'm not exactly a people person, so I doubt I'll make any friends like my mom hopes.

As promised Tucker shows up at my house around 8 in the morning. It still surprises me, but I guess he has a very good reason. I jump in the car and buckle in then I ask "How did you get my address?".  He responds with a chuckle "I was dropping off a friend a little while back and saw you walking to your house". I laugh and call him a creep. The drive is short, and when he pulls into the parking lot I see Jessica glaring at us. Tucker laughs and I join in. As mean as it is, it's very entertaining to piss her off. I get out and follow Tucker until he reaches his group of friends to which we go our separate ways. The rest of the day is pretty uneventful, except for everyone ignoring me after my little 'outburst' yesterday. The next week goes very quickly. Everyone is taking Jessica's side except for Tucker and his group of friends. They knew she was arrogant and attention seeking from the start. Over the past few days my friends have done nothing but criticize me and my choices. It really shows how little they know me. Everyday all I hear is "I thought you hated him?", "You were really mean to Jessica", "You should apologize". And all Jessica has done is just leave us alone and give us glares like she is plotting something. Something big. Regardless I am kind of excited to be going to a camp on the beach. After growing up in Florida I've always been a beach girl. The rest of the week drags on the same way. Time passes quickly and before I know it its time for camp. I am all packed and ready to go, I am just waiting on Tucker to arrive. My mom comes into my room "Hey honey. I hope you have a great day today, thank you for agreeing. And I'd love to meet the friend you brought along, what did you say her name was?" "His name is Tucker" I groan in my head. I know where this is going. I give myself a mental face palm for mentioning him.
"Oh, is he just a friend? Maybe he could be your boyfriend..." She smirks I open my mouth to begin to explain he is just a friend until a knock at the door saves me. She wants me to have a boyfriend so badly. "Oh that's him! I need to go mom, nice talking to you! Love you!" I run towards the door as she yells "Love you too!!"
"Hey Blake, you were in a hurry" he laughs. "Yeah she found out you're a boy and was saying we should date, thanks for saving my ass" I quickly say. He just laughs and says "Glad I could be of service" he fake bows and opens the car door for me. He then adds with a chuckle "You wouldn't date me?" He puts his hand to his heart as though he was offended. I laugh and reply "Hey you know you wouldn't date me either". He starts the car and pulls out of the driveway. He says "You have a point" most of the drive is quiet as I stare out the window watching the river when we pass over the bridge to get to the beach. I surprise myself by asking him "Why did you agree to this deal?" Without thinking he replies "The same reason you made the deal. You aren't comfortable with being gay and it's easier to just ignore it and pretend that part of you isn't there. That's when I started dating Jessica, to almost convince myself I was something I wasn't. I had realized that after holding her hand and kissing her things didn't feel right. But despite knowing that; I still wasn't comfortable with liking guys and only guys. So when you gave me a chance to ignore it and not be uncomfortable in any way shape or form, I took it immediately". I cant think of anything to say so I just say "Shit. That's deep" he laughs and I say sweetly "Thanks for agreeing. It really helps to have that  sense of security as everything comes crumbling down. Only you know I'm gay and I hope to keep it that way for as long as I stay in this miserable place."
He pulls into the parking lot of the beach the camp is being held at, we get out of the car, grab our things and head to the beach. Immediately I hear the waves and smell the salty air and feel relaxed. It feels like home, that's the only way I can describe it, like I'm meant to be here. I walk down the path to the actual beach and stop in my tracks. My heart drops and all I can think is 'this camp will be the death of me'.